Matrimonial Dating

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Does true love exist?

2020.09.22 05:54 aarti32020 Does true love exist?

I was in sincere matrimony for 18 yrs. Even the thought of any other man didn’t cross my mind all these yrs in spite of finding out repeatedly that my husband was cheating on me with call girls. Every time i found something he would brush it off saying that it was nothing... nothing actually happened...it was just flirtation... never acknowledged while i got solid proofs like hotel bills etc in his bag, another phone instrument and many more. Finally after I decided to move on to get out of this toxic mindset which was eating me away , he admitted that’ i might have done a few wrong things but i have only loved you’. He has otherwise been a selfish husband in his day to day conduct although provided well financially to the family. We never fought all these yrs since both hate conflicts and arguments. Now everyone in family and friends is of the opinion that I should take him back but I cannot bring myself to feel anything for him. I am sure i can not ever be intimate with him. Even the thought is repulsive. At best i can cohabitate with him. But then think should i give up looking for love . What if it doesn’t exist and i leave my comfort zone and am worse off esp since my parents and friends want me to overlook the repeated incidents. I know he’ll not change bcoz he promised me that he’ll not give me any cause of worry every time any such thing happened but then he went back to his old ways. ‘Once a cheater always a cheater ‘ i guess is true. I am confused and scared to try the dating scene looking for chances of finding love. Does it even exist? Most marriages around me are wrought with infidelity discord and disrespect . How can my second try be any different even though i am a person who gives her 100% to her relationships and commitments.
submitted by aarti32020 to Infidelity [link] [comments]


2020.09.19 20:45 rimi105 I (29F) am unhappy in my marriage

So, I am an Indian girl who met a guy (30M) through one of the matrimonial websites, dated for a year, and got married in March this year.
Initially the guy had mentioned to me that he plans to keep a room in our house (we always had plans to live seperately and not in his parents house) for his parents and they would come and stay at our place for some time and then stay at their own place as well and so on and so forth.
We got married this year in March and after the subsequent lockdown had our seperate place to ourselves for the initial 3 months of our marriage. However after that my in-laws came over and are living with us and plan to continue to live with us till January next year and then leave for two-three months and will spend the remainder of their time at our house.
I am extremely disappointed as I wanted to lead a seperate life from them for the initial two-three years of marriage atleast and then have them over with us on a permanent basis as they get older.
They refuse to leave us alone here, making my relationship hell due to lack of space and privacy in our home and changing their plans without even telling me.
My husband who is a nice man is hot and cold whenever I raise the topic. He says that was always the plan of his parents to leave their own home and stay with us (it was not btw) or that I am not a good daughter in law or something is abnormal with me as I am feeling cooped up inside the home and depressed or crying.
Sometimes I feel I should leave this house and relationship but don't know how to proceed on the same.
P.S. His parents are not bad people, but their viewpoint, thinking, beliefs, lifestyle do not match with me at all. Also, I feel it would be nice to have my home to myself for atleast 6 months in a year and spend the other half with them instead of they spending 9 months in a year with us which will drive me crazy and sabotage our relationship.
TL;DR: I am unhappy in my marriage due to my partner's parents plans of making their home with us from the beginning of our marriage which was completely unexpected
submitted by rimi105 to relationships [link] [comments]


2020.09.19 20:40 rimi105 I (29F) am unhappy in my marriage

So, I am an Indian girl who met a guy through one of the matrimonial websites, dated for a year, and got married in March this year.
Initially the guy had mentioned to me that he plans to keep a room in our house (we always had plans to live seperately and not in his parents house) for his parents and they would come and stay at our place for some time and then stay at their own place as well and so on and so forth.
We got married this year in March and after the subsequent lockdown had our seperate place to ourselves for the initial 3 months of our marriage. However after that my in-laws came over and are living with us and plan to continue to live with us till January next year and then leave for two-three months and will spend the remainder of their time at our house.
I am extremely disappointed as I wanted to lead a seperate life from them for the initial two-three years of marriage atleast and then have them over with us on a permanent basis as they get older.
They refuse to leave us alone here, making my relationship hell due to lack of space and privacy in our home and changing their plans without even telling me.
My husband who is a nice man is hot and cold whenever I raise the topic. He says that was always the plan of his parents to leave their own home and stay with us (it was not btw) or that I am not a good daughter in law or something is abnormal with me as I am feeling cooped up inside the home and depressed or crying.
Sometimes I feel I should leave this house and relationship but don't know how to proceed on the same.
P.S. His parents are not bad people, but their viewpoint, thinking, beliefs, lifestyle do not match with me at all. Also, I feel it would be nice to have my home to myself for atleast 6 months in a year and spend the other half with them instead of they spending 9 months in a year with us which will drive me crazy and sabotage our relationship.
submitted by rimi105 to relationship_advice [link] [comments]


2020.09.18 14:19 dod_itsolutions Hotel Booking Script WEBSITE SCRIPTS

Hotel Booking Script WEBSITE SCRIPTS
Our company offered Matrimony script, Bharat Matrimony Clone, Shaadi Clone, Vivaha Clone, Asp.net Matrimony Script, PHP Matrimonial Script . This document is prepared by SCRIPTSTORE.IN , to give you an idea of how our Best Hotel Booking Script features is an innovative alternative to online users. It’s now time to keep the papers away and make use of system storage that has easy access and lasts long. Our Script has user-friendly management settings which don’t require any programming skills. Our Clear Trip Clone Script is completely inbuilt and has automated modules which are specific for online travel business.
https://preview.redd.it/5wwqcpf5fwn51.png?width=1200&format=png&auto=webp&s=873c4319158b2d7b2952131a627576fe61fb5057
UNIQUE FEATURES:
  • Ticket/Inventory availability
  • Real Time Pricing
  • Real Time Booking/Reservation
  • Online Cancellation/Refund
  • Booking Amendments
  • Travel Advisory Services
  • Destination Management
  • White Label Solutions
  • Affiliate Model
  • Multiple Payment Options
  • Custom booking inquiry
  • Powerful admin circle
  • Cross browser compatibility
  • Different ROOM BOOKING gallery
  • Video gallery
USER PANEL
LOGIN
Login by valid email-id and password
JavaScript and Ajax validation for email and password fields
Register link for new user
Log in using Face book and Gmail
FORGOT PASSWORD
A password will be sent automatically to email
REGISTRATION
Basic account information such as email-id, password and confirm password
Basic contact information such as address, mobile number etc
After successful registration Email notification with username and password
JavaScript validation for all the required fields
Ajax validation for email-id and invalid captcha
Captcha validation
Terms and conditions view
SEARCH
Basic search by source and destination city, stay date using auto complete
View the hotel available details
Select the desired seat and boarding point
Enter the passenger details and send email
Ticket details send by SMS
View the hotelphotos and videos
The filter will be a sticky
Onmouse over on arrival, departure, items, pictures in tool top
WALLET
User can add cash from bank into his Wallet, so that once booked, the cash would be generated directly from the wallet instead of going through payment gateway.
PAYMENT PAGE
Book the hotel using Payment Gateway
Validate the guest details
Ticket details send by SMS
View the terms and conditions
HOTELS
Print the hotel detail and send email
Hotel details send by Email
Hoteldetails Send by SMS
Cancel the ticket and send email
CHECK REFUND STATUS
Enter the account number and view refund status
ADMIN PANEL
LOGIN
Log in using desired username and password (provided by admin)
PROFILE
View the admin details
Edit the admin details, block and unblock the agent record
Change the login Password
HOTEL MANAGEMENT
Add the hotel details
Searched by hoteldetails using by room type, from the city, to city and status
List the hoteldetails using on load Ajax functions
Manage the hotel details (Edit, delete, block and unblock, pagination)
View and Block the room
View the particular hoteldetails
Structures designed by drag and drop method
HOTEL IMAGES AND VIDEOS
Add the hotel images
Manage the hotelimages(edit, status,delete)
Upload the hotelvideos
GUEST MANAGEMENT
List the booked guestdetails
View the particular guest details
View the booking details
View the particular hotel ,view the room details
Searched by guest details using ticket no , booked date, roomtype, from city , to city
ROOM MANAGEMENT
Search and then list the room details
Searched by hoteldetails using date
HOTEL BOOKING
Searched by hotel details using from the city, to city and date
List the hoteldetails
Select the desired hotel , trip date boarding point and then book the room
Can add/delete hotel details.
Manage bookings and guest
Manage image uploads.
Manage rooms.
Manage user info.
Maintain payment gateway and user wallet.
Manage day’s offers.
Complete end-to-end access.
CANCEL BOOKING
List all cancel
View the particular details
Filtered by hotel using book date , cancel date, travel date
PAYMENT MANAGEMENT
List the room details
View the particularpayment transaction details
Filtered by hotel details using type, from city, to city , date
CANCELLATION POLICIES
Add the refund status
Manage the details(edit,status,delete)
SMS LOG DETAILS
List the sms details
Manage the details(delete)
Search sms details by hotel and day,month,year
EMAIL LOG DETAILS
List the email details
Manage the details(delete)
Search details details by hoteland day,month,year
AGENT PANEL
LOGIN
Login using username and password as registered
CONTROL PANEL
Agent Profile
Deposit
Target and Incentives would be maintained
HOTEL MANAGEMENT
Agent can add the hotel details.
He can view and block the room that’s not of interest.
Manage hotel details (edit/delete/block/unblock).
ROOM MANAGEMENT
View the particular room count and details
View booker and hotel details
BOOKING REPORT
Ledger details
Detailed report
Monthly-yearly-today chart would be maintained
REPORTS
Hotel transaction reports would be maintained
WALLET DEPOSIT/PRINT /CANCEL
Amount in Wallet deposited could be reviewed
Can print or cancel hotel
GENERAL SETTINGS
Viewing and editing site settings such as site name, site URL, logo etc
JavaScript validation for all the required fields
CITY MANAGEMENT
List all the cities
Add the city
Manage the city details (edit, status, delete, pagination)
Filtered the city using city name
LUXURY ITEM MANAGEMENT
List all the items
Add the item
Manage the item details (edit, status, delete, pagination)
Filtered the item using item name
USER MANAGEMENT
List of all the registered users
Manage the users details(edit,delete,status)
View the particular user details
date, user type, from city , to city
HOTEL TYPE MANAGEMENT
List of all the hotel types
Add the new hotel type
Edit, delete, activate and deactivate hotel type
HOTEL BOOKING
Searched by hotel details using from city, to city and date
List the hotel details
Select the desired hotel and boarding point and then book the room
CANCEL HOTELS
List all cancels tickets
View the particular ticket details
Filtered by tickets using ticket no, cancel date, travel date
PAYMENT MANAGEMENT
List the payment details
View the particular payment transaction details
Filtered by bus details using payment type, from the city, to city , date
COMMISSION MANAGEMENT
List the transaction details
Calculate and view commissions
Send the payment particular service provider using Paypal
CANCELLATION POLICIES
Add the refund status
Manage the details(edit,status,delete)
HOTEL SERVICE DETAILS
Add the hotel details
Manage the details(edit,status,delete)
HOTEL BOOKING ADVANTAGE
Add the hotel booking advantages
Manage the details(edit,status,delete)
BULK SMS MANAGEMENT
Filtered the user details
Select the user and multi select the user
Send the bulk sms
SMS LOG DETAILS
List the sms details
Manage the details(delete)
Search sms details by bus and day,month,year
EMAIL LOG DETAILS
List the email details
Manage the details(delete)
Search details details by bus and day,month,year
MANAGE BANNERS
Banners to pop-up with offers would be generated.
MANAGE MARQUEE TEXT
Texts as flash notes either at the top or bottom of the page could be generated.
COUPON
Day-to-day offer coupon codes would be generated.
Contact :
Skype ID : doditsolutions
Email : [email protected] , [email protected]
Mobile : +91 7339131505
Landline : 0431-4000616
Link : http://scriptstore.in/clones/hotel-booking-script/
submitted by dod_itsolutions to u/dod_itsolutions [link] [comments]


2020.09.18 03:00 EveUnraveled Bizarre Ideas of Proposals and Weddings.

I hadn't been the type of girl to dream up my wedding. I knew it would be difficult enough to find a boyfriend as a witness and I hadn't been overly focused on matrimony. Hell, I just wanted to prove to myself that I could get a boyfriend since no one had shown interest in me since a gorgeous worldly boy when I was 16 and I clumsily, cruelly, turned him down. So, it took me by surprise when my boyfriend's mom sat us down one evening, after dating for 4 months, and asked us about wedding plans.
He hadn't even proposed yet. We were fairly serious; I had relocated to his state after dating long distance for the first couple of months. I wanted to be sure we were compatible in person and not just via Skype. But this normally progressive JW woman expected me to detail the colors and theme, a guest amount, food and cake flavour, seemingly out of the blue. I pulled ideas out of my butt, and when we actually tied the knot, ended up scrapping the majority of those ideas and opting for others. I hadn't ever really thought about a wedding. I didn't know myself well enough to plan a wedding. I assumed I'd never have one. He proposed without an audience (alone in public! Shocking!) just a year shy of knowing each other. That's the witness way.
Even more bizarre is a story about my husbands brother (Jared) and his wife (Bridget). They married a few years before I came into the picture, but before Jared proposed, they all went dress shopping. Wedding Dress Shopping. Bridget, Jared, Bridget's parents and friends, all cooing over the generic frothy white gowns she was picking out. She was expecting the aloof Jared to propose while she was trying on wedding gowns in front of her audience, and when he didn't, she was furious. So much so that he ended up proposing in the driveway later that evening as an appeasement. I've met so many couples who got engaged after a quarrel. It always seemed so odd to me.
Reflecting back, we were all so young. Early to mid-twenties (I married just days after my 25th birthday and by then was not only an old maid but had combatted speculation that I was inclined towards women) and with no dating experience or idea of what we were getting into. We communicated well but I see so many couples who lack emotional maturity diving into "forever" head first. So many of us have experienced this weird attitude around marriage and weddings and proposals.
Thankfully, it worked out for me and my husband. While he is PIMI, I chose well. Jared and Bridget? Well, let's just say they deserve each other.
submitted by EveUnraveled to exjw [link] [comments]


2020.09.17 13:02 closeprotections Close Protection London Close Protection Services London

Close protection – is a concept that has been known for ages – it has been with us since early days of humankind and now its condition is more than satisfactory. Since time immemorial, people have tried to protect their wealth, assets, as well as their own health, life, and welfare. By means of the transfer of gathered goods, wealthy individuals have been paying other parties to protect them, their families, and possessions from others. As a general rule, young, notably strong, and grim-looking individuals have been considered perfectly suitable for such a job. The idea behind such a choice has been to scare away a potential adversary by taking advantage of the very looks of the guard. The aforementioned state of affairs has been observed for the consecutive ages. Wealthy landowners and kings created their own trusted guards (in ancient times and during the medieval age, those were troops designated to protect the authorities; later on, they were transformed into elite soldiers). Aside from serving representative and managerial purposes, such individuals were required to take care of their master and his beloved ones. In the 11th century England, during the Battle of Hastings, King Harold assembled a group of troops to protect his life and widely understood health condition. One may consider them to be the ancestors of modern bodyguards. As both civilization and society progressed, there were an increasing number of various organizations and people. Therefore, the risk of attack was significantly higher. Numerous authorities attempted to discourage potential aggressors from committing a crime by introducing severe forms of punishment. It must be noted, however, that there was still the question if it was enough to protect high authorities and the wealthy from the effects of outside attacks. The protection-oriented market has been developing to be – at some point – dominated by professional soldiers. The said progression has made it possible for police officers to investigate and deal with common, less dangerous crimes only. Together with technical revolution and the increasing social awareness, the number of citizens not satisfied with the current order skyrockets. It is likely to cause radical groups aiming at the change of the existing ruling paradigm to occur. This in turn may lead to anarchy and the increase in people willing to put their antisocial theories and plans into effect. The latter may start from sabotaging the work of others and demolishing valuable devices, but it may also end up in killings. If such a thing happens, one may openly talk about terrorism. The unusual social situation boosts the demand for personal protection. Both the army and police focus on securing the wellbeing of those of high position in the country. The rest of the threatened society must protect itself. The demand identified above has given rise to a new profession – a security guard. In the past, it was performed in a more or less organized fashion and that is why the effectiveness of arising task achievement varied. The attempt on Tsar’s Alexander the Second life on 1st March 1881 is a perfect exemplification of the formulated thesis. The ruler in question was attacked by the members of Narodnaya Volya at 2:15 P.M. A bomb was thrown under the carriage, but its explosion did not harm either the tsar or the horses. Alexander the Second, together with his companion including secret police representatives, started to assess damages. It was a mistake. At 2:20 P.M, yet another bomb was detonated. Its accuracy was notably higher as it managed to severely injure the tsar. He died relatively quickly, even with professional care he was under. At this point, it must be indicated that the demand for close protection increases. However, the perception of it is in a significant number of cases rather faulty, leading to pitiful outcomes. As it was hundreds of years earlier, modern people tend to hire grim musclemen to protect them, disregarding the fact that their intellectual level and possessed knowledge are negligible. Formerly, a test had to be passed in order for a person to be considered a bodyguard. Unfortunately, it does not hold true anymore. On numerous occasions, we can observe security guards stylized to look like stats of action movies, with the lack of intelligence written all over their faces. To give them justice, such people may also perform exceptionally well – up to the time they encounter a real attack. Unprofessional guards may be employed to protect rock stars or boxers. Real bodyguards of today are, however, highly skilled and motivated. They are trained to prevent rather than to counteract, as it may be too late in the latter case. Such people are capable of estimating potential risk and juxtaposing it with the resources at their disposal that may minimize it. Modern security guards are physically active, as well as skilled in giving first aid and driving a car defensively. They can fight without using any weapon – especially by taking advantage of psychology and persuasion. Such people are proficient in at least two languages and are characterized by an above-average intelligence level. The described model of a security guard is perfectly suited to current conditions and the needs of individuals hiring them.

VIP close protection over the world – organizations specializing in personal protection. One of the most famous and at the same time – the oldest organized bodies dealing with close protection was created in the 19th century. It was the American United States Secret Service. The USSS was created in 1865 as the US Treasury Law Enforcement Agency. Secret Service is the oldest national agency focusing entirely on investigations. Initially, their only task was to protect the economic structure of the country by means of preventing governmental cheques and bonds from being counterfeited. The mission was followed up to 1901, when president William McKinley was attacked in Buffalo (NY state). The assault resulted in appointing the Secret Service by the US Congress to protect the newly elected president, Theodore Roosevelt. In 1906, the Congress finally adopted the act on the responsibility of the Secret Service for the safety of the White House. Since 1950, the protection has been extended from presidents and first ladies only to vice-presidents as well. Before the murder of John F. Kennedy in 1963 and senator Robert F. Kennedy in 1968, the Secret Service had been a relatively small organization, employing as many as 284 agents. The discussed events translated directly into its rapid development. Currently, it is stated that over 5000 employees work for the Secret Service. Separate branches of the organization are located all over the United States, in Puerto Rico, and in other places all over the world (Paris, Lyon, London, Bonn, Rome, Milano, Hong Kong, Montreal, Lefkosa, Bogota, and Manila). The representatives of the organization are both secret agents (serving protection and investigation-related roles), as well as uniformed units responsible for the safety of the White House and diplomatic outposts. They maintain law and order by means of the network of both foot and motorized patrols, as well as of fixed posts. Such people also support other branches of the Secret Service. A wide scope of professional is also employed therein – those are electronics, engineers, communication experts, protection-related professionals, and IT workers. The Secret Service protects the president with his family, vice-president, elected vice-president, candidates for the said posts (from the 120th day before the elections onwards), former president, his children up to 16, as well as heads of other states staying in the USA in order to realize international missions. The unit of the Secret Service liable for taking care about the safety of the president in the White House fulfills its duties in identical uniforms. Due to the said fact, the Secret Service is sometimes referred to as the Uniformed Division. Its tasks also include the protection of president’s mansions, diplomatic outposts in Washington, and places alike located within the borders of the USA.

Another known formation is the Swiss Guard (Latin: Cohors Helvetica) which was for the very first time gathered on 22nd January 1506 by the then pope – Julius II. Its major aim was to protect the spiritual successor of Saint Peter and his palace. The pope wanted to grant himself protection from the enemies and avoid a political murder. In 1512, the Guard secured Vatican against French soldiers. The Defendants of the Church, as the representatives of the discussed formation were also called, had to face the biggest trail while taking care of pope Clemens VII during the invasion of Roman emperor, Charles V. The boldness, discipline, and resourcefulness of the representatives of the Guard made it possible to save the life of the pope, even though about 600 bold men died in the process. To commemorate the event, a solemn vow of the newly appointed guards takes place every year on 6th May. Each of the Swiss guards-to-be holds a banner in his left hand and raises his right hand with the thumb and two other fingers in an upright position (it is the symbol of the Holy Trinity). Then, the new soldiers promise to protect the pope and – to die in his defense if necessary. The representatives of the Swiss Guard are chosen from men between the age of 19 and 25 living in one of Swiss cantons (basing on contracts with Zurich and Lucerne). Each of them has to be at least 174 cm (5 feet and a half inch) tall and be an unmarried practicing Catholic (according to a special letter issued by the local bishop). Candidates for the service are properly trained, including teaching them how to use firearms, side arms, as well as how to defend themselves and establish proper contacts with other people. One of the items of the list is the proper usage of halberd. Currently, the number of soldiers in the Guard is estimated to circulate around 120, including officers, junior, and senior soldiers. They serve in the formation from two to twenty-five years. It must be also indicated at this point that officers and senior sergeants may be granted by the pope the right to enter into a holy matrimony. Aside from their characteristic outfit, soldiers are additionally equipped with halberds and Renaissance swords – those are the symbols of formation’s tradition. Nowadays, they are also fitted with firearms, tear gas, and excellent communication-oriented devices. With its almost five hundred years of heritage, the Swiss Guard is one of the oldest active defense-oriented groups in the world. One may assume that it will last until Switzerland and the Catholic Church exist.

Yet another example of a close protection-focused formation is the Cedrug Order, the major task of which is to take care about the ruler of Tibet – Dalai Lama. It comprises of national spiritual authorities who organized themselves in a form of an order. Thanks to strict upbringing, their physical strength is much higher than the one of secular officials. Therefore, the former are the most trusted soldiers caring about the safety of the leader of the nation. Cedurg School is located in the left wing of Potala – the palace of Dalai Lama, which is in turn situated in the Holy City of Lhasa (eastern Tibet, Kyitsu river valley). Every Tibet citizen is allowed to enroll to the school, but only chosen ones are granted the privilege to join the Order. For several hundred years, there have been a limited number of monks allowed, namely – 175. Only selected candidates have been worthy enough to defend the powerful Dalai Lama. Those are especially bold, tall, and muscular men. The representatives of the Order earned their name in 1959, when they protected the king of Tibet against Chinese adversaries.

One of the biggest organizations in the world established to consociate and train bodyguards is the International Bodyguard Association (IBA). The IBA was established in 1957 in Paris by major Lucien Victor Ott. Major Ott had been closely connected to the French Foreign Legion in Algeria since his early childhood. He had been born and raised in the said country. In 1947, he joined the French Special Forces and took part in France-Indochina war. Furthermore, he was the participant of the battle of Dien-Bien Phu that ended with the defeat of the French forces. He was being injured and captured by Vietminh. After a bold escape, he decided to join forces with the French Military Intelligence (Deuxieme Bureau). Major Lucien Ott got famous due to, inter alia, perfect securing of president Charles de Gaulle against the OAS terrorist organization. Thanks to him, 30 prepared attacks were foiled, 11 of which were aimed directly at the head of the state. After the death of the creator of a modern bodyguard profile, major Ott, one of his students – James G. Shortt took care of the management of the IBA. As a young man, he had joined a cadet school. Later on, he had become landing operation troops officer and a member of the elite SAS (Special Air Service) unit. Moreover, during his service, he also taught soldiers in Afghanistan the art of Mujahedeen war. Currently, he teaches security guards, police officers, and soldiers all over the world in the IBA branches. The main aim of the organization is to properly prepare bodyguards-to-be to properly perform their duties. It is not an entity employing such individuals, but those who have presented exceptional skills may become members of royal, diplomatic, or personal guards recommended by the IBA. Coaches being the representatives of the organization trained bodyguards in Estonia, Latvia, and Lithuania, as well as helped during the Baltic Crisis between 1989 and 1991. The qualifications of the International Bodyguard Association are exceptional, international, and backed by the documentation concerning the organization of training sessions for the military, governmental authorities, police, and private bodyguards all over the world. Such undertakings have been continuously performed since 1957. The IBA also operates and trains willing individuals in Poland. Its branch was established in the said country in 1992. The basic training offered to candidates includes 60 hours of comprehensive preparation divided into six consecutive days. After its completion, the candidates are required to undergo the so-called refresher once a year. It is one of the conditions of the membership in the IBA.

Another training organization worth mentioning is the ESI - Executive Security International. It must be highlighted that it is one of the biggest and most appreciated American companies oriented towards training personal protection guards. Its second name is as follows: Bodyguard Training Academy for Executive, Dignitary and Celebrity Protection. The ESI was formed at the beginning of the 80s by Bob Duggan – martial arts expert and master in Hwarang Do. Its creation had been preceded by the establishment of the very first bodyguard training program by the Martial Arts Academy in Aspen, Colorado. The ESI, being one of the USA’s private schools, offers its students over 2000 hours of education with regard to protection, investigation, data gathering, company and individual security, etc. The training unit of the organization is situated high up in the mountains and is run by skilled professionals. Fun fact – film writer, Tracy Keenan Wynn, cooperates with the ESI. His preeminent task has been to create scenarios of situational exercises. While writing them, the said individual takes advantage of real life situations and attacks, such as assaults on Aldo Moro, John Paul the Second, kidnapping of Hans Martin Schleyer by the RAF (Red Army Faction), and scenarios alike. The ESI collaborates with corporations operating in the close protection branch of industry, as well as with the police and military. The organized training sessions are top secret. No journalists are allowed to enter the Aspen unit. Due to the fact that the ESI is a private school, it may provide professional training to civil, police-related, and military institutions all over the world.

The citizens of Israel have never had the chance to feel safe in their country. The issue of safety has been always treated seriously there. Aside from a constant Israel-Arab world conflict threat, the Israelis have been the subjects of terrorist attracts, both within the borders of their country and outside it. Jews and Americans are most frequent victims of operations organized by highly skilled terrorist groups. Taking into account the impact the Russian mafia has on Israel, the amount of care put on widely understood safety is fully justified. The Israeli Special Forces protect their citizens by means of intelligence and security-oriented undertakings. They host training sessions in various organizations preparing bodyguards, providing the adepts with the experience gained during the service. Most famous units of the said kind in Israel are undoubtedly the ISA - International Security Academy and the ISS - International Security School.

ISA is an international organization established and managed by former leaders, police instructors, and special service members. The very first unit of the ISA was formed in Latvia as a training and advising agency for both governmental and private security guards belonging to the Baltic States and the countries of the former USSR. The fact that the ISA is not exclusively Israeli in character is proved by the figure of the organization chairman, major Urlich Wegener – the creator and very first leader of German Border Control Service called GSG 9. The team of instructors and coaches also has international roots. The credo of the organization is that the preparation of the individuals for the proper protection of others is the key. Such people have to be offered highest quality training, extensive knowledge, and practical background. The ISS training programs are based predominantly on the experiences gained in Israel and in other countries, as well as while training people for the purpose of protecting VIPs over the world. Individuals, governmental authorities, and large-size corporations have been taking advantage of the services provided by the ISA/ISS.

At the moment, civil bodyguards are also involved in close protection. The safety of the individuals hiring them, as well as their possessions depends highly on the qualifications of the former. Quite frequently, those are former policemen, soldiers, or special force members. However, a number of inexperienced adepts would like to start their adventure with personal protection as well. Are they bound to fail in their attempts? It is not always so. The most crucial component affecting the effectiveness of the training is one’s psychological preparation. It is a commonly known fact that it is exceptional in former police officers and troops. However, it is a common belief that one can be trained how to perform the job of a bodyguard, just as it is possible to teach a person how to shoot or be properly engaged in melee combat. It all depends on one’s motivation and willingness to achieve success in the industry. Regulations to date limit the training process of a security guard to the moment of being awarded with a license. In order to perform his tasks properly, such a person has to constantly improve his skills and qualifications.

Phenomena connected with the need of utilization of close protection techniques – Terrorism/Terrorist. It goes without saying that terrorism is one of the biggest threats of today’s world. While analyzing the severity of attacks and their scale, one should not doubt that VIPs should be at all possible occasions protected against the aforementioned forms of assault. In order to assess the threat a given problem pose, its specificity must be identified at first. The notion of „terrorism” was for the first time in history used during the Conference of the International Criminal Law Association in Brussels, in 1930. To date, there have been approximately 200 various definitions of the phenomenon in question. While trying to grasp its characteristic features, one will face a number of limitations and difficulties. One of statements of historian Walter Laqueur has to be touched upon here. While asked why he has been avoiding formulating an unequivocal definition of terrorism, he replied: „For 50 or so years, people are constantly trying to understand the idea behind terrorism. It is a phenomenon having different forms, depending on its place of origin and epoch. How can one find common ground between Russian revolutionists from the end of the 19th century and Al-Qaida anarchists?

Terrorism is mainly based on the utilization of force or threat in order to achieve political or ideological goals. It is hard to say something beyond that. Terrorism is like pornography – it escapes logical classification, but if one sees it – then it becomes apparent.” It is hard to argue with the statement, as it perfectly shows the complexity of the phenomenon in question. For the purpose of this publication, a strict definition of terrorism is not needed. All that is required is the utterance formulated by Walter Laqueur stating that terrorism can be most fully perceived through its manifestations. Terrorist acts are undoubtedly illegal, as they are based on kidnapping people and forcedly taking control over means of communication, economic sabotage, attacks, robberies, demanding ransom to finance organization’s own activity, posing threat to life, health, and freedom of authorities, and kidnapping people from outside the area in order to gain publicity (especially journalists, priests, voluntary workers). One may also indicate the usage of explosives and firearms in public areas and poisoning certain spots by means of radioactive materials and chemicals. Longin Tadeusz Szmidt additionally pointed out that terrorism has always been strictly connected with crafty and hard to identify methods of killing the leaders of nations. While describing the phenomenon of terrorism as a threat for the protected person, one should also point out and indicate its sources. The following are enumerated: - social and economic sources that are directly connected to economic crises, social tensions, social and national discrimination, as well as with the perception of dissonance between the factual reality and the one presented by the media; - historical and political sources. They have their beginning in severe social reactions, demanding full democratization and respecting human rights; - sociological sources that may be related to the atmosphere typical for a given country or the so-called spirit of violence; - psychological sources stating that a significant part of terrorists is highly mentally unstable which is additionally combined with the overly high self-esteem. When it comes to the area of attack, the following are proposed by the experts: - land terrorism (the major threat area for VIPs and the key one for security guards), - air terrorism (personal protection is then entrusted to the authorities managing planes, airports, etc.), and – maritime terrorism (tasks and responsibilities are then similar to air attacks). While taking into account the type of terroristic activities, one may distinguish: bombing-based, nuclear, biological, chemical, technical, cybernetic (attacks on IT networks), and narcotic-oriented (narcotic cartels undertakings) terrorism. The highest threat for VIPs is undoubtedly the first type, namely – bombing-based one. Close protection-oriented undertakings should therefore incorporate the knowledge on paradigms effective during a bomb attack. They will be discussed in further sections of this publication. It is exceptionally difficult to argue with the thesis that we must be protected against terrorism. The same applies to VIPs. The importance of the latter is also worth discussing, as the threat is much higher when a top authority is attacked than when the assault poses threat to a pop star or a wealthy businessman. However, it does not limit the necessity to analyze and counteract terroristic attack threat. It may directly impact the safety of the person a given security guard is responsible for.

Crime is also one of the issues that may endanger protected VIPs. Up to the beginning of the 80s, Poland had been considered to be one of the safest countries in Europe. Law enforcement bodies had been numerous and properly financed there, and crime forecasting, prevention, and penalizing schemes had met all the European standards. However, at the end of the discussed period, the myth of threat-free Poland started to crumble. The effects of crime fighting scene were becoming gradually more negligible. The said state of affairs was predominantly caused by the decreasing trust in law enforcing organizations, as well as by the rapid increase in crimes committed by the citizens. Another important aspect that must be taken into account were economic and political changes taking place in 1989,the liberalization of economic activity, and the emergence of free market. Some individuals possessed unimaginable riches, whereas others were exceptionally poor. In order to survive till the next day, the latter searched for the answer in crimes, leading to the occurrence of the phenomenon commonly known as organized crime. According to official data from 2001, within the borders of Poland, there were over 400 organized crime groups consociating approximately 45 thousand people. They were generating profits by means of goods smuggling, selling stolen cars, producing and marketing narcotics, counterfeiting national currency, commuting bank frauds, selling firearms, and – what is of exceptional importance from the point of view of VIPs – demanding ransom. Criminals induce fear in the society, especially due to using terror and blackmailing. They do not hesitate to kidnap others or kill them. Such individuals resort to brutal treatment, such as beating, torturing, drowning, etc. All those factors combined directly translate into wealthy representatives of the society feeling threatened. What is more, criminals frequently tend to attack the family of a VIP as well, in order to convince him to perform a given action. Therefore, children, wife, and beloved ones of such an individual must be highly protected.

Popularity/Fame –The threat of attack may be in some cases linked to the popularity of a given human being. When a VIP is in isolation, then he may only receive unwanted phone calls or be nagged by photographers. The problem arises when he has to leave his place of permanent residence or workplace, as well as when he is in a publically accessible place. Danger may still be low, but the inquisitiveness of journalist may quickly become overwhelming. Fans or supporters of a given sportsman or artist may cause havoc in order to touch their idol or get hold of any item belonging to him or her. Of course, there is also the risk of serious injuries or even death (let us take John Lennon as an example) – it cannot be neglected. That is why famous and popular individuals should by all means care about their safety. The matter also concerns politicians who are widely recognizable and controversial. In politics, there are no limitations. Opponents may even resort to killing a representative of the other side to impose his or her right on others. Elected politicians tend to have close protection, but care should be additionally exercised to care about those running in elections. Such VIPs may be ridiculed by the crowd or the opposition (by throwing eggs or pouring water over the candidate), leading to the end of their political career. The role of security guards should in the aforementioned cases not be limited to physical protection only. They must also keep information about VIP’s family, realized projects, and operation profile confidential. The image of a famous person highly depends on the bodyguards being in his immediate surroundings. The manner of their operation, professionalism, and knowledge are top priorities there.

Attack on person – By definition, attack on person is the attempt to kill someone, steal his or her possessions, as well as to kidnap him or her. The criminal action in question has a long history, as assaults have been made throughout the consecutive ages. Their goal has been to achieve a political, economic, or cultural aim. Attacks on person may lead to tremendous changes in the society, which is perfectly depicted by the killing of John Kennedy and Icchak Rabin. In the majority of cases, however, such an attack does not have significantly far-reaching consequences. In order to be effective, bodyguards must answer themselves the following questions – why do criminals attack? How do they attack? How may the assault look like? Therefore, it is highly advised to specify the motif, methods utilized, and consecutive stages of one and every attack on person. Taking into account motifs, one must bear in mind that all the assaults have their agenda. No attack is made voluntarily, without forethought. In the following sections, most common causes of the aforementioned activity are going to be enumerated:

Revolutionary or political ones – organized groups (frequently consisting of fanatics) attack others in order to force the society to change the existing system or overthrow the current government (in the attempt to choose a new one). Their victims are often the authorities ruling the country. The attackers, who follow their revolutionary or political agenda, try to win the sympathy of other representatives of the society. Long before the planned attack itself, they distribute leaflets blaming current rulers for the widespread injustice. According to their belief, the elimination of the elites in power would bring positive outcomes for the whole country. Such an action was performed in Armenia in 1999, where members of the government were shot dead during one of their meetings. The terrorists informed that their death would improve the national situation.

Economic – terrorists claim that their potential victim is responsible for the poor economic condition of the country, company, or a group of people. In the majority of cases, economic attacks take place in countries where there are extreme disproportions between the wealthy and the poor. It must be taken into consideration, however that it is not always the case, as the assessment of the attackers tend to be highly subjective. Quite frequently, the cause of the assault is the personal conviction that the unsatisfying economic condition of the terrorist is the result of actions performed by the victim. It pushes the attacker into thinking that killing him would aid the situation.

Personal – In this case, the wrongdoers are motivated to make an attack due to jealousy, vengeance or other personal causes. Those people in many cases have notable personality disorders, manifesting themselves especially in the inability to control their behavior. The aforementioned state also leads to the failure to distinguish reality from fiction. A perfect exemplification of the motif in question is shooting Zuzanna Leśniak and an artist – Andrzej Zaucha by Yves Goulais in 1991. The trigger there was jealousy.

Ideological – The terrorist is convinced that the victim chosen by him has been threatening the values and principles followed by the attacker. The said rules are often of significant importance for both the group he belongs to and for himself personally. Ideological attacks on a person may be religious or social in character. The first case is oriented towards killing a religious person in the attempt to make it impossible for him to achieve his goals. The second scenario relates to the willingness to eliminate the leader of a given social group. Quite frequently, the additional agenda is to make the organization the terrorist is a part of more memorable and popular in the media. Free publicity is an additional benefit then.

Psychological – The most commonplace group of attacks. Modern psychology claims that every person using firearms, stabbing others with a knife, or taking advantage of explosives has been struggling with mental problems. The motif is of negligible importance, as the attacker may justify his actions with revolutionary, economic, or personal goals, but the fact is that the driving force is the inability to perceive the world correctly. The assassination of Bill Clinton in 1994 illustrates the above bluntly. Francisco Martin Duran stated that he had attacked Clinton to destroy the mist connecting him to an alien entity. Apparently, Duran wanted to eliminate the mist in order to save the world. Attacks considered as crimes may be triggered by a myriad of factors. Among them,there are: - clashes between the representatives of a crime organization, willingness to demonstrate one’s power or threat the victim (attempt to force the latter to pay ransom or forget about debts), - desire to kill suspects that may endanger one’s business, - attempt to exert pressure on certain individuals or to threaten them for their professional achievements (relates to, inter alia, attorneys and tax collectors).

Attack methods to be considered by security guards. Close range attack. It may be performed by means of utilization of: - firearms, - melee weapon (knife, bayonet, dagger), - chemical substance (for example: toxic substance, such as hydrochloric acid). There are no exceptional skills needed to successfully attack a person, as almost everybody can use a knife or a dagger to a satisfactory extent. The same goes with firearms, the utilization of which is as difficult as driving a car. The aforementioned types of weapons can be transported to the place of the assault with ease. The characteristic feature of this attack type is the fact that the wrongdoer is situated maximally several centimeters away from the victim. The difficulty here is directly connected with the inability to improvise the act. It must be preceded by a prolonged observation of the subject, learning his or her customs, daily routine, places he or she visits, and the protection type he or she uses. Only after drawing proper conclusions from the examination, can the terrorist attack the victim. Marek Papała, a police commissioner, was killed due to a close range attack in 1998, Warsaw.

Long-range attack – in this case firearms are often used, especially rifles and carbines. It is not an uncommon situation to learn about an attacker who has used a sniper rifle fitted with professional laser and optical aiming devices. The distance between the wrongdoer and the subject of the attack is commonly higher than 5 meters. The former must also be much more skilled than a close range attacker, as he has to be capable of utilizing a professional gun in an effective manner. The death of John Kennedy in Dallas on 22nd November 1963 was the result of the attack form in question. Lee Harvey Oswald, who was a former marine soldier, shot his subject from a storage located several meters away from president’s cavalcade. To perform the act, he used Mannlicher-Carcano, cal. 6.5 mm rifle. The proficiency of the attacker was proven by the fact that he fired three shots and only one of them missed the target.

Attack with explosives – it requires notable skills, for the wrongdoers has to build a bomb before performing the attack. He must also know how and where to plant the explosive, how to situate the fuse inside and where to detonate it. Such a person also has to be familiar with the effects of explosion. Assault on Margaret Thatcher on 12th October 1984 showed how patient and clever can an attacker taking advantage of explosives be. Patrick Magee, a member of Irish Republican Army, moved into the hotel where the British prime minister was expected to stay 24 days before the said fact. Every single day, he worked meticulously destroying the wall and placing a 50-kilogram explosive inside the hole. The bomb was then fitted with a timer. It exploded when Miss Thatcher was considered to wash herself in the bathroom – the attacker was perfectly acquainted with her customs. She would have died if she had not received a document to be read. The explosive was detonated five floors above the bathroom located in the apartment of the „Iron Lady”. Six other people died as a result, but the suspect managed to avoid the clever assassination.

If you are looking to hire close protection in London do not wait and contact us immiedletly for professional bodyguard services in London.
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2020.09.14 19:16 Frequent_Internal197 AITA for telling relatives than I am better than them at maintaining a healthy relationship?

Relationships tend to go south, in my family. My older brother (John) only had one significant relationship, besides hookups and FWBs, and it lasted 4 years total. My mother was married once, rushed because she was pregnant with John, and it lasted less than one year. My dad was a fling and mom never even formally dated him.
As the youngest kid, and a girl, I feel like mom and John have always babied me, especially when it comes to relationships, in a well-meaning but condescending way. For instance, I had to have both of them "vet" high school boyfriends, and John would always come with me at parties and bars to "keep an eye on me," and my opinions about relationships tend to be dismissed out of hand.
The thing is, I started dating one guy in college, James, and I'm pretty sure he's "the one." Mom and John disagree, I think in large part because James is a foreigner and went back to his country a few months into our relationship. Despite constant push to break up with him because "long distance never works," I kept dating James through instant messagers and spending every summer living with him in his country. We dated throughout university and got a courtroom marriage one year before I obtained my PhD, so I applied for residence in his country. My relatives became very insistent that we break up and that I shouldn't move to a different country just for a man. I didn't listen and went to live with my husband.
Throughout my relationship with James, and especially now that I live with him full time, mom and especially John have been giving me "advice" that I never asked for, and they justify it by saying they are more "experimented" with love than I was. Ok. But last week was my 4th wedding anniversary with James, meaning that I have been MARRIED longer than John's longest relationship lasted TOTAL. So far, mom and John always said that I don't know James because long-distance "doesn't count." But I have been dating James for nearly 9 years now, more than ALL of mom and John's relationships COMBINED. Even if you only take the bits where I lived with James full time, I have more experience than either of them.
Yesterday, on a video call with mom and John, they tried to give me advice (about chores while I work from home and my husband doesn't) and repeatedly saying that me and James not fighting is "a bad sign." I tried to politely disagree several times, and I was shut down every time for being "unexperimented." I eventually snapped and told them what I say in this post: They are both single and unable to keep a relationship alive, I have nearly a decade of love with the same man and my marriage is happy and fulfilling, PLEASE STOP TRYING TO SHOVE YOUR NOSE IN MY MATRIMONY. They didn't like it, and I feel guilty as heck. AITA?
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2020.09.10 21:00 theirishjewelry Charming Irish Wedding Traditions and Superstitions

Charming Irish Wedding Traditions and Superstitions
Irish wedding traditions date far back in history and many have survived in one form or another today. These Irish wedding traditions were rooted in nature came from folklore and superstitions for generations. passed on generations. Today Irish couples around the world seek to incorporate these ancient Irish wedding traditions in their modern-day wedding as a way pay tribute or to reconnect with their Irish heritage.
Have you ever heard the phrase "HIS GOOSE IS COOKED"?
The expression 'his goose is cooked' is still in use in Ireland and especially in Dublin. The phrase originated from the tradition of cooking a goose for the groom in the Bride's house the night before the wedding. Once the goose was cooked there was simply no going back!
TYING THE KNOT... the Celtic Knot
Perhaps the best-known Irish Wedding Tradition that most people don't know about is tying the knot. Did you know the phrase "Tying the Knot" originated with the ancient Celtic ceremony of hand fasting? This old Celtic tradition symbolizes the joining of two as one like the exchanging of rings today. The couple clasps their hands together and a brightly colored cord in the bridal party colors is wrapped around their hands as a symbol of their unity in marriage.

https://preview.redd.it/guqhmcvdbdm51.jpg?width=1000&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=b02ff2e7151b5468a16c01ff8684aa7036b9b1ba
IRISH LACE, an Irish Wedding Tradition
Irish Lace is commonly used as an Irish Wedding Tradition. Irish lace began in the 1800's many families in Ireland lived in small thatched cottages on land called crofts producing crops for the Lord of the Manor. Crofters were "dirt poor" with little money for necessities. Then the potato blight hit between 1845 and 1851 destroying the crops and causing thousands of families to starve. The Ursuline nuns were familiar with Venetian lace, brought over from France. The nuns used their skills in crocheting lace to help save the people from the famine. They began schooling women to produce the fine crochet that has come to be known as "Irish lace." The more affluent Irish families that could meet the expense to buy the lace earned the name of "lace curtain Irish." Families had their own designs and motifs and closely guarded their patterns which were passed from mother to daughter. The particulars were kept so secret that many of them vanished as the families either died or fled the poverty for other lands.
FLOWERS and Shamrocks of course
For good luck to the marriage, a sprig of shamrocks is tucked into the bouquet. The lucky Shamrock is also the symbol of Ireland. It is also customary to decorate the house that the wedding celebration was held in with locally grown flowers and plants. These would vary according to the time of the year that the wedding was held. Some plants have become associated with Ireland, not least the now readily available 'Bells of Ireland', used in modern times for its symbolism. A Celtic tradition in Wales involves the plant Myrtle which is presented by the Bride to the Bridesmaids who then plant it in their gardens. If the plant grew, then the Bridesmaid would be married before the year is out!
THE MAGIC HANKY
It is now usual for the 'magic hanky' to be made from Linen although it is likely the original versions were made from cheaper materials. It was usual for the Bride to carry the hanky on her wedding day and for it to be retained and later converted to a Christening hat/bonnet for her first child. The hanky would be passed on from generation to generation to be re-used in a similar manner. THE
CLADDAGH RING
Irish jewelry is known to be steeped in irish tradition. It is quite common for a traditional Claddagh Ring to be used at an Irish wedding, as a wedding band. The ring is faced outwards prior to the wedding and reversed to face inwards on the hand after the wedding, indicating that the bearer is taken forever! The Claddagh Ring is one of the most well-known romantic symbols of Ireland.
THE LUCKY HORSESHOE
The tradition of a horseshoe is well known throughout the world and so it is in Ireland. By placing the horseshoe upright over a door or in a room the 'luck of the house' was kept intact. The Greeks associated the horseshoe with the crescent moon and its symbolism of fertility. The tradition was popular throughout Ireland and England too with the readily available horseshoe being carried by the Bride as she walked down the aisle. It was then affixed securely by the Groom in the matrimonial home. Today, glass and ceramic horseshoes are symbolically used at Irish wedding ceremonies.
WEDDING BELLS and the Make Up Bell
The use of Church bells in Christian religions is symbolic of driving away the evil spirits from the marriage to be. In Penal times in Ireland this was not possible, so the gift of a small bell acted as a substitute. Modern Irish weddings often have stationery, invitations, bunting, and decorations adorned with bells, hearts, shamrocks, and horseshoes. A small glass or ceramic bell can be used in the Church service and kept as a memento. It is a tradition in Ireland to present a couple with a "make-up" bell for their wedding or anniversary, even engagement. The chime of bells is thought to keep evil spirits away and to restore harmony if a couple is fighting. The sound of the bell, much like a church bell is to remind a couple of their wedding vows. This bell is also rung when one partner is ready to "make up" and end any little quarrel. Each partner should take turns ringing the bell, lest a quarrel begin again.
IRISH WEDDING SUPERSTITIONS
It is considered better luck to get married during a time of plenty. A bountiful harvest year, is a good omen for any newly married couple. It is better that a man be the first person to wish joy and happiness to the new Bride, and never a woman.
A wedding party should always avoid crossing paths with a Funeral procession. Seems like an obvious one.
Upon the bride and groom leaving the Church paper confetti to tossed at the betrothed, but in ancient times an old shoe was tossed over the head of the Bride for luck - not so lucky if it hits the Bride though!
Placing a statue of 'the Child of Prague', a small statue of the Holy Infant Jesus, in the garden of the Bride prior to the wedding is supposed to ensure that her big day is blessed by nice weather.
The Irish Jewelry Company https://www.theirishjewelrycompany.com
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2020.09.08 02:18 forbidden-donut online dating for aces - would love advice from those who've tried it

I am ace, but gray-romantic. I'd really like to find a relationship with someone else identifying as ace, and i'm wanting more company while stuck in quarantine. I've started getting into online dating and sending messages on OKCupid (selected asexual for my orientation) and AceApp. But there are some things I am curious about.
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2020.09.04 20:58 unhappylife12242 Pulling the trigger...

I've been lurking on this sub for quite a while, now here's my first post. Sorry, it's a bit long...
I'm (40F) contemplating divorcing my husband (40M) and have been (off and on) for about 4 years. I had an affair 4 years ago, he had suspicions and went through my computer and found a conversation with my best friend. He confronted me and I confessed. I did some trickle-truth bs for a while, but I did eventually let it all hang out. I had asked for a divorce then, not for my AP but because I thought that was the best course of action. Reading through different subs on here, I have recently discovered that what we did following this was "hysterical bonding", initiated by him.
At that time, I'd had some major losses on my side of the family, going through depressive episodes, had gotten really fat and the SAHM gig was weighing on me heavily. I felt I had no purpose, no life, nothing. He was working a lot and I almost never saw him, so I felt like I was on my own and left to just deal with all the shit by myself. No excuses for my abhorrent behavior, what I did was awful, plain and simple. It was just my state of mind, my emotional and psychological vulnerability... I was ripe for the picking for my AP. I just went right into that rabbit hole without a care in the world, since I wasn't worth anything anyway, what difference did it make.
Initially I was concerned for him, but relatively detached and just looking for some version of me. I had lost sight of who I was, didn't even recognize myself in the mirror. We talked about the affair endlessly. Lots of questions, mostly repetitive. I answered everything, even if I knew it would hurt him or myself. I told myself brutal honesty was the only way. We sat down with both sets of parents and I confessed what I had done and that we were discussing divorce. We have three kids together, at the time they were 14M, 10F, 8F. I told our oldest that something was happening, but the other two were oblivious.
Long story still long, we spent every waking moment together for nearly a year after DDay. Every drop of free time I had, I was talking to him on the phone, texting, or with him. Even on my drive to and from work. The holidays were weird, as well as our anniversary and Valentines, but we struggled through it.
Cut to now, and I still don't feel it's right for us to be married. He's my best friend, we have a lot of the same interests. I love talking to him about random stuff and discussing our day at work etc. I'm not sexually attracted to him, even though we do have great sex when it does happen. I can't describe why I'm not, it's not his appearance that is unattractive I think it's more about some of his personality traits that I find unattractive. He's the opposite of abusive, he's needy and clingy. He's always been jealous, even when we were dating some 15 years ago. Overly jealous. I couldn't talk to some of his friends without him brooding about it and talking behind my back, never to me. He's never been open about his feelings or concerns or wants/needs so I don't feel like I can be either. Hence this 4 year period of matrimonial purgatory.
So today, I reached out to a relationship counselor. It's long long long overdue. My trigger? The other day I mentioned in passing I wanted to consider buying a particular bedroom toy (a friend of mine said she got one, and sounded interesting) and apparently his first thought was I am having another affair. It broke my heart a little and gave me another slap in the face. I deserve the slaps and more, and I was glad he brought it up instead of internalizing his concerns. However, after that I wanted nothing to do with that thing and it made me think again about how I think he would happier with someone that isn't me. I don't want to rug-sweep anymore. So I'll go to therapy and see what happens from there.
If you've made it this far, thanks for reading my crappy story.
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2020.09.02 16:50 kishore512 I plugged my mind into a computer to explore it

There is so much shit in my head. I wish I could connect my brain via USB to my PC and just start deleting things. Let me try something. Beep boop.
I’m in. Welcome to Mind-space.
What welcome? The desktop is a complete mess. It’s like those icons are in a Mumbai local, mashed up so close together and pretending it’s okay. Which reminds me, I haven’t done my weekend laundry. Let me click on sort-by-type. Ah, that’s better. The biggest folder that seems to occupy my mind-space: people. Double click to open.
What the absolute fuck? Who are all these people? I’ve met this many people? The introverts will be pissed if they see this.
Well I’m not surprised to see my bosses/colleagues there, or my family. But it’s a Sunday evening and neither of them are around, so why are these programs running? End task. That’s better, let’s move on.
Good lord, there are so many women here and I don’t even know half of them. Goddamn dating/matrimony apps and Instagram. When will I learn? Oh look at this one. So many long conversations into the night. *Skims through chats*. Damn, I was way too honest about my insecurities. We had such great times. Now my messages lie read and seen, rotting away in her inbox, just like my feelings. Here’s another. So many long..wait. This again? Oh man. How many people have just left me for dead without any reason, or even a fight? Why the fuck are they still following me on Instagram? Why am I the one feeling sorry for myself? How are they still occupying my mind-space? “Do you want to delete these files permanently?”. “YES, computer, yes! What did I ever do to make these friends ghost me? Were they ever really friends? For life may take us in different directions, but good memories do not exempt anyone from basic human decency.”
Ah. Matches on dating apps. Look at those chats, these should be called micro-relationships. Like fizzed-out beers nobody wants to drink. We post more pictures than share real things about ourselves. So much skin, so little substance. Tele-callers probably make better connections selling insurance.
Oh hey, Instagram. This is probably the worst part. The sheer number of people whose newsfeeds are tattooed in my head. I can’t even see my real friends anymore. In fact, where are they? When you spend enough time in there, the entire world seems to consist only of the people who post things on Instagram. Everyone else just ceases to exist. And that’s a problem, because not all your friends will be active there. So the more time you spend in it, Instagram’s algorithm decides your ‘friend’ circle for you.
Let’s look at the feelings eating up my RAM. Frustration, well that’s probably from the pandemic. Anger, of course having wasted yet another weekend, what else did I expect? Loneliness: self-explanatory. Hate. Hate? For who? *Right click → Analyse*. Shit, I’m spending energy, and this much energy, on hating myself? *Click Details*: No progress personally or professionally since forever? Says who? And since when did I start caring about progress? And where is happiness in this list? Why is the hate bar growing? End task, end task!
Okay, deep breath.
Dear K,
You are simply overwhelmed. It is a natural human reaction for someone whose entire life just flashed in front of him on a computer. You know how to deal with overwhelming thoughts. Let me remind you. First ask yourself, what can you control, and what is outside it? People — the ones you love, the ones you don’t, the ones you meet, the ones you won’t — lie outside your control. Accept it, and focus on what you can control, and do so. Second, stop classifying all life experience into good and bad. The same goes for feelings. For one cannot pick and choose: welcome them all, or shut them all. Reflect, but don’t rate, because you aren’t being examined, you have been gifted life.
Yours mindfully,
Mind-space
Wait, this feels nice. My mind is much clearer. More than it has been all weekend. Let me check my RAM again. So clean! “Computer, what changed in the last 5 hours?”
“You switched off your mobile data.”
submitted by kishore512 to KeepWriting [link] [comments]


2020.09.01 01:55 throw_away213248392 Need advice on coming out to friends, family and Church. Spiritual advice on what to do after.

Hello. I am 27 and a bisexual f2m transgender man. I have transitioned with hormones but don't plan to have surgery. I go to an affirming Church and have come out to friends family and church on that. What I need advice on is coming out as poly amorous to all of them. I am in a loving relationship with a bisexual cis man and a bisexual cis woman. Everyone thinks we are just close friends for now. We have been dating for 5 years. We'd like to make our relationship permanent and official with marriage. I don't want to be living in sin in terms of our relationship which presents a bit of an issue.
My church, friends and family are pretty liberal. Even so I'm not sure how they will view our relationship. I would like for marriage so any physical activity will be blessed by God and we can have lifelong matrimony. Are there any churches that will perform a ceremony? I know legally we can't do anything. Maybe in the future society will recognize our love I hope. In terms of church I would say while the bible condemns polygamy or plural marriage, it isn't referring to what we have as polygamy was an exploitative practice which took advantage of women and this is very different.
How should we come out to church friends and family? Is it a bad Idea? Is there anyway to get ceremonially married? Do any denominations recognize this yet?
Thanks for reading and God bless everyone for the advice.
submitted by throw_away213248392 to Christianity [link] [comments]


2020.08.31 01:51 lucylockwood Pictured is Susan Barlach, Alan Dershowitz's first wife. She died of an apparent suicide sometime between 1975 and 1976.

Pictured is Susan Barlach, Alan Dershowitz's first wife. She died of an apparent suicide sometime between 1975 and 1976.
The Skeleton In Alan Dershowitzs’s Closet: The Resurrection Of Sue Barlach, his first wife. Dershowitz's First Wife SUE BARLACH: Victim Of Tragic Domestic Abuse, Divorce, Stripped Of Custody Of Her Children And Her Subsequent Suicide
By Jessie L. Leon
3-8-9
According to an article written on March 25, 2007, by internet author Myles O. Morales, the controversial lawyer Alan M. Dershowitz has a big skeleton in his closet. It is the story of his first wife Sue Barlach, whom Dershowitz had been completely successful with hiding in his closet until the publication of that article made the rounds on the internet in 2007. Until now, an internet search to find Dershowitz's first wife's name came up empty. Some of the websites where the original article shedding light on the dark past involving Dershowitz's first wife may be found are: (dead links)
‘Dershowitz’s First Wife Sue Barlach: Victim of Tragic Domestic Abuse, Divorce, Stripped of Custody of her Children and her Subsequent Suicide’ (new facts)
The article by Morales details the alleged events surrounding the apparent suicide by Sue Barlach, who had been divorced by Dershowitz after she endured a beating by Alan Dershowitz, after which she required hospitalization. Soon after, Dershowitz stripped Barlach of custody of their two sons, according to several sources who wish to remain anonymous due to the highly litigious and vindictive nature of Alan Dershowitz. Dershowitz then obtained a divorce from Sue Barlach in 1975. The beating incident allegedly happened after Barlach, upon learning of an extramarital affair that Dershowitz was having, scattered some of his important case documents in the wind.
An original source named in the article by Morales is a San Francisco-based lawyer who has since recanted that he ever said or knew anything about Dershowitz and his first wife, and he pleaded with Rense.com to delete the story, which is what subsequently happened. It's very possible he inadvertently spilled the beans about Dershowitz to a source whom he never thought would spread the word about Dershowitz's spousal abuse and the subsequent events after that. Of course it's possible he never discussed Dershowitz and his first wife with anyone at all. The fact is that the news had broken ground on the internet to make way for further investigation.
New evidence regarding Sue Barlach, Dershowitz’s first wife:
Other independent, anonymous sources have now come forth to corroborate the story of how the ambitious, controversial lawyer, known for defending wife-beaters, wife-killers, the use of torture, ...was responsible for beating his first wife Sue Barlach so badly that she had to be hospitalized, and how Dershowitz then used his formidable litigious clout to intimidate local and nationwide news sources, including CNN, from publicizing the wife-beating event and her subsequent suicide, apparently by jumping off a bridge in New York (the Brooklyn Bridge, to be exact, according to one anonymous source).
In fact, Dershowitz had been so thorough at snuffing out the memory of Sue Barlach, his first wife, that an internet search using Google came up with absolutely nothing about his first wife, unless you already knew her name.
While a google search on "Dershowitz's first wife" came up blank, after the discovery of his wife's name Sue Barlach, and using it in an internet search it turns out that Dershowitz mentioned her in his book "Chutzpah".
Basically, he briefly explains how he got married to her because his parents encouraged him to marry a Jewish woman before he went away to law school. That's about it. The official Marriage License for Alan M. Dershowitz and Sue Barlach has now come to light. It was issued on June 9, at 9:50 AM in 1959 in Brooklyn, New York. Further information on the certificate includes Dershowitz' address in Brooklyn at the time, that his occupation was Full Time Student, and the name of his parents, etc. As for the Bride, Sue Barlach was named, and her address at the time was in Bayonne, NJ, where it indicated that she was also born. Her Occupation was also Student, and both her parents, including her father Bernard Barlach and her mother Ruth Feldman, were noted to be from Poland.
Another document which has come to light, the Marriage Certificate, shows that on June 21, 1959, Rabbi Joshua J. Eisenstein in the county of Kings, in the State of New York, at 2 PM at 673 Broadway, and in the county of New York, performed the rites of matrimony between Alan M. Dershowitz and Sue Barlach in the presence of witnesses William Haber and Anatole Tennenbaum, along with their signatures. It's all a matter of public record.
Further proof of Sue Barlach's existence and status as the first wife of Alan Dershowitz can be found in the Who's Who book dated 1972. In this 1972 publication, it was published that "Alan Morton Dershowitz" was "m. (married) to Sue Barlach, June 21, 1959; children - Elon Marc, Jamin Seth."
However, in the 1976 issue of Who's Who, there is no mention of his marriage or his wife at the time, but there is mention of his two children.
According to an anonymous source, Alan Dershowitz divorced Sue Barlach in 1975. It can then be logically surmised that Sue Barlach made her tragic exit from this world somewhere between 1975 and 1976 in 1983.
More confirmation of allegations Dershowitz’s dark past
According to one of the new anonymous sources, who was an associate at Harvard University, and who lived almost next door to Dershowitz on Robinson Court in Cambridge, MA, he also alleges that Alan Dershowitz beat up his wife, which landed her in the hospital for treatment. Dershowitz also allegedly stripped Sue Barlach of custody of their two young sons, and divorced her. The tragic story of her subsequent suicide by jumping off a New York bridge is also alleged to be true by this and another anonymous source. The anonymous sources also allege that Dershowitz used his litigious skills and prestige to threaten and discourage CNN, which was then owned by Ted Turner, from broadcasting the unsavory news of either events. Thus Dershowitz' attempted cover-up of the big skeleton in his closet has largely been successful - until now.
If anyone wants to trouble themselves to acquire the Death Certificate for Sue Barlach, then it is readily available here.
Sue Barlach (date unknown)
submitted by lucylockwood to Epstein [link] [comments]


2020.08.30 06:52 _Live__and__Learn_ How did you find (or plan to find) your CF SO in India?

Bumble just removed the Childfree filters, so looking for alternatives.
submitted by _Live__and__Learn_ to ChildfreeIndia [link] [comments]


2020.08.29 20:45 birla_tata From a popular matrimonial website. What is a *dating cushion* ?

From a popular matrimonial website. What is a *dating cushion* ? submitted by birla_tata to Lal_Salaam [link] [comments]


2020.08.29 13:32 snickeringhaystack I posted a true stalker story online. My stalker read it...

This is an update to a story I posted on a forum like this about 4 years ago. In fact, what happened was a direct result of me posting it. I’ve since taken it down, but I need to share what happened to me. God…
Don’t worry about that first story; you’ll find that out as I tell this one.
Let’s get started.
So, a little about myself: I’m 41 years old and currently working as a salesman at a retail outlet that specializes in men’s business suits. The job makes pretty good money but with alimony to my ex-wife and child support on top of that, I seem to just barely get by. I had just finished going through the horror of divorce 6 months before this last incident happened. I had started drinking again. Drinking, and looking longingly at sleeping pill bottles and razor blades. I know what you’re thinking but I’ve always been too much of a coward for that sort of thing. Though I will admit it’s always seemed tempting, especially after losing everything like I did.
Anyway, as you can imagine, I was feeling pretty low for a few weeks, so I was quite pleasantly surprised when this elegant, beautiful woman, about my age, came into the store and began to show me some interest.
She was tall and slim, wearing a charcoal jacket and skirt combo, her hair discretely dyed bronze amber, and had a very unassuming smile, not too blemished by laugh lines or crow’s feet. I admit I’d noticed her before she approached me; I spotted her the moment she entered through the door. She seemed kind of familiar, but I wasn’t going to tell her that. That’s got be the most obvious non-pickup pickup line in the world, telling a strange woman she looks familiar.
Anyway, she walked up to me with this coy smile, just showing a glimpse of perfect white teeth and said, “You probably think I’m in the wrong store.”
I gave a little giggle, cleared my throat and said, “I’m sorry?”
“This is a men’s clothing store, obviously,” she elaborated. Her eyes were deep brown – almost black – and they were lively and active, looking up into mine.
“Well ma’am,” I said. “We do have some pant suits and some jackets for ladies if you’d like me to show you.”
“Ma’am?” she remarked playfully. “Do I really look that old to you?”
I chuckled nervously, breaking eye contact with her and clearing my throat again. God, I must have seemed like a schoolboy for Christ’s sake! I then told her not at all, that she didn’t look old but that I just wanted to be respectful. Her smile widened, her long purple fingernails fidgeting with her purse strap.
“Well,” she said in a soft, heavy voice. “I’m actually here to find a suit for my son. He wants a tuxedo for prom.”
I furrowed my brow. This was the dead of winter. Proms aren’t usually held until June or late May at the earliest.
“I know,” she said, reading my look. “His school is impossible; they want to hold it early so that the students don’t get too distracted from their studies. My son’s also too busy playing his computer games to go get a suit himself and too embarrassed to come with me so, here I am.”
I couldn’t help but grin eagerly. Just my luck, I thought.
I showed her some of our more popular items. She told me her son’s size and together we found something she thought he’d like. The whole time she sided close to me and I could smell her floral perfume. It was soothing and, I’ll admit, I didn’t make any attempt to distance myself from her.
As I was ringing her up at the cash till, I told her that if anything didn’t quite fit, she could bring it back in and we’d happily have it adjusted to fit her son’s measurements. She gave a low, almost inaudible laugh and told me that I probably didn’t have to worry about that.
There were no other customers in the store then and the other cashier was on break, so we continued to chat. She asked me what I did in my spare time for fun and I hesitated, thinking of the rows of empty liquor bottles in my apartment and the sleeping pills next to the bathtub. Instead of answering her I jumped at the opportunity and asked her if she’d like to get a drink later that evening. She said nothing but tilted her head and scanned me with her sexy, roaming eyes.
“When do you get off work?” she muttered softly.
“At seven,” the words leapt from my mouth. “If that’s not too late for you.”
“No,” she said, her pearly grin flashing at me over supple red lips. “That’s perfect. I know a bar around this area. I’ll be out front to pick you up.”
“Great,” I said. “What’s your name again?”
“Andrea.”
“Andrea,” I repeated, extending my hand. “I’m Andy, nice to meet you.”
“Naturally.”
That seemed to put my nagging feeling of Déjà vu to rest; I had never known an Andrea – or met any Andreas for that matter. But the name was fitting, and I rolled each syllable over and over across my tongue, waiting for the hours of my shift and wilt away.
By 6:30 we were locking up. Jane, the girl working there, was balancing the cash register while I wrote the day’s records in the books. As I wrote down the total debits and credits I could barely hold onto the pencil, I was so jittery. I know how pathetic this must sound but it had been a while since I had been with a woman in any way and, being older and just divorced, it was hard to build up the confidence to start dating again.
By 7:00 it was dark out. Jane walked out and waved goodbye as I locked up the front door. At the curb in front of the sidewalk was a small blue station wagon, not very fancy but I wasn’t going to complain. I looked through the passenger side window and saw Andrea peering out at me, her hooded eyes meeting mine, that slight smile drawn across her face.
I got in and immediately noticed how cold it was. There didn’t seem to be any heating at all, and the radio wasn’t even on. Strange, I thought. But maybe she lives close by.
As she navigated out of the plaza and onto the road, I prattled on about the suit I had sold her and how most customers said they were really happy with it. She didn’t respond and wasn’t smiling anymore. I didn’t think too deep into it though. After all, she was driving. It’s important to keep concentration. The only thing that struck me as odd was that she had placed her purse on her lap while she was driving.
Since I had had to sell my car after the divorce, I was very pleased to not have to ride the subway or bus, so I just eased back in my seat and enjoyed. I think that’s the reason that I didn’t notice that we had been on the road a long time despite her telling me this bar was close by.
I knew something was up after she’d got onto a highway interchange.
I looked at her very confused. “Did you say this bar was out of town?” I asked.
She didn’t reply. Her eyes were glued to the road as we cruised up the ramp and onto the interstate. By now I was really getting nervous. I noticed she took her left hand from the steering wheel and began reaching inside her purse.
“You really don’t remember me?” she said, her voice just louder than the car engine.
I giggled a bit, but I didn’t find this funny at all.
“I-I don’t know,” I stammered, looking at her. “You do look familiar but – I know I’ve never met an Andrea before.”
I looked down at her lap – into her now opened purse – and felt my heart freeze in my chest: inside, the taped handle held in her delicate fingers, was a snub-nosed revolver. I squirmed in my seat, as if I was going to fly out from the window, the seatbelt digging into my neck.
“What…what the hell are you doing?” I shouted between panted breaths. The gun was now out and pointed at me.
“You probably don’t know any Andrea,” she said coldly, her voice empty – vacant. “But you might remember Alicia. Alicia Moretto.”
Probably from the panic I felt staring down the barrel of that gun, the name didn’t ring any bells. She then looked at me, those bedroom eyes now burning like hot coals.
she told me to open the glove box.
“Open the glove box,” she muttered in a staid voice.
“What?” I asked.
“Open the glove box!” she screamed. I shuttered from the sharp change in her voice.
I did as I was told. Gingerly, I stretched my shaking hand and pushed the lock button. The compartment door fell open and out spilled what had to be hundreds of pages of paper. They were all lying at my feet.
She peered down in a quick glance and instructed me to read the stapled pages printed on red paper. I picked them up and immediately recognized what it was: my post of my stalker story to an Internet forum for true horror stories. I then figured out who she was: Alicia Moretto, the mentally disturbed girl who had stalked me at my workplace and at my home years ago when I was in my late teens.
I pleaded with her and she just hollered at me to read it, her eyes back on the road but the revolver still trained on me. I did as she said. It was all there, my words: how she had come into the coffee shop where I worked, how her hair was constantly tangled and greasy, how her clothes were always in tatters, how she always smelled of BO and Vaseline. It was all there; how she had come in every morning, how she knew my schedule and when my shift was. How my coworkers had told me that she would sometimes come in on my days off and ask where I was. How one night I had found her waiting for me in my house.
I tried to swallow but I couldn’t. I was trembling and the printed-out pages fell from my weak hands involuntarily. She peered over at me – I could see her from the corner of my eyes – and told me to pick up the next set of papers – the one printed on grey pages. I begged her again to just let me go and she screamed for me to read it.
I picked them up, not recognizing any of the writing on it. Then I realized that these were comments people had written on my post of the story. Comments like, What a crazy bitch or I would have been so freaked by that cow or I’d have still hit it lol. Tears had started streaming down my face by the time I’d realized what this was. She had found my story, recognized it, and had come for me.
“Please,” I said to her, choked up having read all the comments and realized her purpose. “I didn’t know it would upset you this much. I – I never used your real name.”
“Do you think that matters?” her voice cracked. It was like an animal’s growl, all the prior sophistication and sensuality gone. “I knew. I knew that story was about me – about a time in my life I was ashamed of…” She trailed off. It sounded as though she had begun to sob. I looked at her and her mouth was hung open, as if in a silent scream, her eyes squinting closed. Yes, she too was crying.
After a terrifying moment she gave a cough, tossed back her hair and was once again icily composed. I looked close and could just see smudges of mascara under her eyes. She then told me to reach inside her purse. I of course wasn’t about to do that.
“I won’t shoot you if you do exactly as I say,” she then said in a calm but uneven voice. The voice smacked of the psychotic desperation of the girl who had stalked me those many years ago.
I nodded my head slightly then quickly turned to glance out the window. It was now very dark and there were few other cars on the road.
Careful not to brush up against the gun, I reached over and put my hand in her purse. Inside I found what felt like a set of Polaroids. My skin waxed cold, imagining that these were probably photos of me she had taken without my knowledge.
I pulled them out and looked at them. They weren’t pictures of me at all. The first photograph was of a couple standing outside a wedding chapel, the woman smiling radiantly in a white lace gown, the handsome mustachioed man next to her wearing a black tuxedo and cummerbund. They were close and holding each other’s hands. I flipped through to the next photo to see the same couple kissing with their eyes closed, a sun setting above a glimmering ocean behind them. I flipped through and in the next photograph I saw the woman lying in a hospital bed, covered by dark green surgical sheets holding a newborn baby. The child was wrapped in a blanket, the husband standing beside them, smiling. I flipped through and saw a photo of the couple with two pre-teen children, sitting on a beach wearing jean shorts and bright colored shirts, smiling up into the camera’s POV. I then realized these photos were of her, the woman named Alicia. She had a family. Or had had a family. But…what did this have to do with my story?
“I…I don’t understand,” I mumbled. She shot me a look out the corner of her eye and didn’t say anything. I looked out the window and saw there were no lights on the side of the road. Past the barrier there was nothing but tall trees and bleak wilderness. We were now far, far from any major city or town. I thought about reaching in my coat for my phone but knew that if I did, she might have shot me. Then I started wondering why she didn’t just kill me already if that was what she intended to do.
The minutes felt like hours in that car. The darkness beyond the roadside seemed to stretch for an eternity like I had woken up in hell. Finally, after God knows how long, she spoke.
“It took me ten years,” she said, her voice straining, quavering like that demented girl I remembered. “It took me three years to get over you. And another seven to forgive myself. I went to counseling, therapy. Eventually I agreed to take the medication. You see – I suffer from paranoid schizophrenia. It sort of runs in my family but it didn’t appear in me until about five months before I met you. My parents had gotten a divorce. Doctor Walton told me that’s what likely triggered my breakdown. Then, when I saw you, it was like you were there for me. My psychiatrist says I was using you as a misplaced source of love – love and security, which I felt had been torn away from me by my parent’s divorce. You were always there and always so polite, so I mistook your politeness and charm for love and affection.”
At that moment, I don’t know why but I didn’t feel scared anymore. I just felt gloomy, depressed. We often call people crazy but when we actually hear the medical terms it becomes a lot less distant.
She continued, “So for ten years after you, I avoided people. I didn’t see friends. I barely spoke to my parents and I absolutely never went out on dates. First, because I was still in love with you. And then because I was so ashamed. Ashamed and afraid I would become that super attached psychopath that I had been with you. I wanted so many times to contact you and to apologize but my counselor and Doctor Walton were adamant that that would be a bad idea. They said it would cause me to relapse.
“So, for ten years I was alone, hating myself. Then I met David. David was a graduate student in university studying Physical Geography. He had approached me first. We met at a bar, or restaurant actually. My parents had insisted on taking me out for my birthday and he’d asked the waiter to put our bill on his tab.” She then gave a sorrowful laugh, a tear falling down her cheek. “He barely had enough money to pay for his beer and he wanted to pay for a whole family’s meal just to speak with me.
“We started out just as friends and then with his insistence we became more than that. I loved him and felt so much better. I finally felt well enough to go back to school and complete my degree. We got married shortly after he graduated. He’d been hired on at a consulting firm, so we were mostly stable. I finally forgave myself and forgot all about you. But I never told him. Never.
“A year into our marriage we had Aaron and two years later Cassandra. We were both so happy. I was happy. I got a job as a typist at a Law Firm. It wasn’t much but it gave me something to do after the children were old enough to go to school. I liked working there; everyone was so friendly and helpful.
“One day, Mark, one of the support staff members in Facilities was showing me this website he often goes to, mostly to look up funny pictures. He told me about this page that has scary stories and creepy encounters and I immediately recognized what most of the stories were about. I searched all the posts and it didn’t take me long to find one that was familiar. Too familiar. I knew that it was you who posted it.”
She then stopped and let out a heavy sigh, her moist eyes rolling up and looking long at the car roof. It was as though she could not believe she was telling me this. Her voice had stopped sounding like a nervous psychotic and more like that of a sobbing, distraught woman. The gloom lingered thick inside the car – over both of us.
“After that my paranoia and anxiety spiked,” she continued. “I tried to fight it by upping the dose of my medication but that didn’t work. Pretty soon I just stopped since they only seemed to make me drowsy.” She then gave another humorless little laugh as though she’d caught herself in a lie. “You know, I thought it was because David had seen the post that he left me and why I couldn’t get even joint custody of the children but that’s not true. The truth is, seeing your post made me act erratic. I started throwing fits, fighting with him for no reason, shouting at the children and beating them over things that weren’t their fault. I had stopped sleeping at night, believing the next-door neighbors were spying on us and plotting to come in and steal everything. It was because of me that David left me, and I acted that way because of your post.”
I was now staring out the window. I could just make out open fields in the distance with the slightest smattering of brush. Where the hell was she taking me?
“I couldn’t forgive myself,” she said. “I know now that I never will.”
I gulped and asked, “How did you find me?”
She smiled maliciously in my direction, amused by my discomfort. “One of the criminal lawyers at my firm, Mike Corson, has a team of Private Investigators. I do paperwork for him, so I forged a memo asking one of the PI’s to find your whereabouts. It didn’t take long; I knew your full name, where you had once worked and where you grew up. I was of course surprised you still lived there after all these years.” Her smile was now spiteful and mocking. That and her last comment made me look away, slightly incensed. “Of course, when Mike found out about it I was fired. Misappropriate of the firm’s resources. It didn’t help I was already on thin ice – for obvious reasons.”
The road we had driven on had disintegrated into a rough, jagged path of scrappy concrete. It was as though we had gone back in time to when there was nothing but dirt and jungle. I actually started worrying that if we drove any longer that that road would stop, or we’d be stranded in desert.
I looked at the clock on the dash and the green numbers revealed 12:03. We had been driving for hours. Another hour passed with nothing. Just silence.
I started absorbing what she’d told me and felt this weight form in the pit of my stomach. I had caused this. I had ruined her life. And for what? A little bit of attention on an online forum? Jesus, the episode hadn’t been that much of my life and, for God sake, she was schizophrenic. The whole damn thing now seemed sleazy and – and I no longer felt scared. I wasn’t frightened at all. I just wanted this to end.
By 1:15 she slowed down the car. We pulled over, parking on a gravel shoulder by a vast, empty field, the car pointed away and perpendicular to the road.
When she switched off her headlights it went all black beyond the windshield. My eyes adjusted and I could just make out the black shape of the field beneath the lighter shade of the starless night sky. We both sat there, not looking at each other, like we had just fucked for money. She didn’t move, didn’t stir. The revolver still trained on me.
“I’m sorry,” I said. My voice was contrite and damp. “I know that what I did was wrong. When I met you, it was at a moment when you were most vulnerable and it was wrong for me to take advantage, even years later.”
She didn’t look at me, didn’t move. But I knew she heard me.
“Go ahead,” I then said to her. “Kill me. I deserve to be hurt. I deserve to die. I – I don’t want to live anymore.”
Just then, she straitened in her seat, still staring out into the field before us.
“No,” she said, huskily. “You deserve to feel what I feel every day.”
I then heard the hammer click backward and watched as she opened her perfect mouth and stuck the barrel into it.
I shouted and lunged toward her but--
BANG!
There was a flash and I saw spots. My ears were ringing and blocked like I was under water. After about a minute my eyes adjusted. Then I started, stupidly surprised, by the sight of the woman’s mutilated face resting next to me in the car. The interior was splattered with blood.
My hand groped endlessly for the door handle, finally finding it, and I fell out onto the pebbled ground from the passenger side. I got on my hands and knees and puked my guts out. After I stood up, I doubled over and dry heaved for several minutes.
From there I walked the shoulder, not thumbing, not trying to get home, just trying to get as far away from Andrea – Alicia as I could.
Eventually, by daybreak, someone driving a rusted pickup pulled over and asked me if I needed a lift. Still shaken and exhausted I approached his passenger-side window. Once I was a foot away from his truck, I saw his face drain pale, his pupils shrink in the sockets and in one hyper-movement, he grabbed the gearstick, put it into drive and sped off.
I stared at the fleeing vehicle confused, then looked down at my clothes. I was, of course, covered with blood. I took off my jacket and shirt, wiped my face with them, then tossed them, continuing the rest of the way in just my undershirt and slacks. About two hours later, someone picked me up and drove me as far as the next major city. From there I took a bus home and called in sick to work.
UPDATE
About a week after the incident, two detectives came to see me at my home. They asked me about my relationship to the deceased, Alicia Moretto-Lippmann, and I told them the whole story. They informed me that they had found Google map printouts of my address and a P.I. file of my name at the scene.
They tried to get me to go downtown with them, but I refused and called a lawyer. My new lawyer, Mister Michael Corson, who agreed to represent me Pro Bono, told me there’s no chance of a charge of murder being brought against me. The evidence of possible foul play is pretty thin; my story, although incredible, makes enough sense; and the police are happy to write off her death as a suicide rather than spend endless man-hours and OT investigating a homicide.
Corson recommended me to a better matrimonial lawyer, and I got my alimony reduced and received more time to see my kids. I also entered AA where I have started to get over my self-destructive thoughts and behavior.
Don’t get me wrong. I feel horrible about what happened to Alicia. And her last words do stick with me. But, I mean, how far does guilt get you?
submitted by snickeringhaystack to stayawake [link] [comments]


2020.08.24 14:00 tway0297473882 200 1P W/ GF who dropped Gel Tab + 200 1P 8 hours after

I’ll talk about the set and setting first.
My girlfriend and I spent the day after her birthday all day together. We took a day trip to an area out of town and did some activities together. When we got home she told me she wanted to drop acid with her gel tabs she bought before her birthday this weekend. I said I wouldn’t mind trip sitting with her to get her comfortable since she didn’t enjoy her last set + setting.
We got home and she dropped acid at 1900 and she had minor feelings of happiness and effects similar to microdosing. She deals with anxiety and depression and is medically treated with Zoloft for Depression/Anxiety however her Anxiety problems usually persist past the medication. She was expecting a much higher feel from these new gel tabs she took and I told her she may have to take a higher dosage to feel more because her Zoloft suppresses the acid. She mutually agreed to take some more 1P at 0200 with me. We both dropped 200 uG and for me it was magical. She as well got a very happy trip for which ended very at peace for her from what she has said.
My report from what I experienced is this. I dropped my two tabs of 1PLSD. She was very horny and I stem this from me taking care of her all day and doing enjoyable activities together. I dropped my tabs and while she was minorly feeling the previous tab effects, we both took our tabs at 0200. Since then I drove her to the sex shop to pick up some lube we were out of. We came back home and I started feeling the effects of the acid kicking in after about 30 mins. I was expecting it to kick in later. But I managed to drive home to my neighborhood with the acid kicking in at the last few moments of the drive. I was anxious and didn’t expect that to happen. A little bit of adrenaline came in and so did it for her because I told her that truthfully. She trusted me and was okay with that because I take care of her and did my best to get home albeit dangerous. That’s one thing I probably won’t do again and respect her trust over me.
We got home and work on an adrenaline high, mesmerized by the visuals we started to come up on. Hers kicked in a little earlier than mine. We came home, did a few things around the house general loopy happy stuff of excitement. Played with the pets, then ran to the room. Played with each other non sexually as a couple would. Then which ventured into playing sexually. I couldn’t get it up and for the next two hours we joked about how silly it was because normally I have a pretty high libido and she has a low while sober. My assumption was it was the drug just causing issues with blood flow or performance anxiety idk, it didn’t bother me to bad. And I asked her if it bothered her feeling of attraction and she said no. I could still tell she was attracted to me regardless. Afterwards we settled down from the sexual/nonsexual playing and childish interactions. She started talking about some of her problems and we talked about them earlier in the night when she was being tripsat for on her first gel tab.
She started to quickly get anxious and I gave her my best advice to calm her down in which she did. Afterwards I asked her about some things she likes to do to relax. She said she practices Wicca/Paganism, meditates, tarot, and some religious mantra and practice. Which I’ve never ventured into much of devotion but deviation from my own religion does not scare me.
At first we tried tarot cards and how beautiful the cards were. She then explained the energy in which I could feel in between my grasp and fingers. She asked if she could do a tarot reading on me and I was reluctant and skeptical at first. Joking, although I saw how much it meant to her so I let her. We did it and it was magical I saw the most intense visuals and symbolism spiritually. She warned me of something I may be challenged with when it comes along the next day as we did a daily tarot reading and that was a Five of Fire, something interpreted as anything that is hard for you or difficult for you.
After that I asked many questions about Tarot pleased at the feeling of energy and symbolism and value those cards can spiritually hold and connect thoughts in the brain. I was enchanted, we moved onto the next thing she practiced, Wicca. She mentioned that she was a witch and this distraught me at first because I perceived her as a witch one would in common to media and that scared me. However I continued to listen to her regardless of my fears and skepticism. She explained the greater meaning that her religion bonds to her and to her it is all about being grounded, safe, and comfortable with what is around you. She practices white magic as a witch and that is what she believes.
To convince me the power of what she believes she showed me a memory that was dark to her and advised me that she does not agree or practice evil and to not be afraid of witchcraft for it is of selfish desires however she does not follow evil or dark magic. She showed me what she perceives as evil and it was one of our first dates when we ventured into an Asylum and we had a paranormal encounter in which we both agreed was evil. It was a very traumatic and scary thing for her to go through and she felt protected that I was there for her. This evil scared me and showed the power of good and evil in the world. She then said she wanted to practice a spell of peace on me. She practiced the spell and advised me to meditate afterwards. I don’t remember too much of the spell besides of the reading of it. It wasn’t frightening or traumatic. It was peaceful, humbling, and earthy to witness. I allowed her with full consent. Afterwards we meditated together, and the meditation was the most peaceful, other worldly, blissful, relaxing experience in my life. It followed a mantra for the Wicca spell of peace. To me and perceiving the mantra through my meditation. It enlightened me of binding and safety to this woman, and it made me feel almost a religious matrimony in terms.
Afterwards we watched an anime about the body’s cells and it was an amazing and captivating experience of feeling like my body interacts with the world around me and the love and bonding between two cells and their functions for the world and with in each organism.
She fell asleep in this show and tapped out from her 16 hour 300ug trip.
I eventually went to play with the pets myself out of the room and came back. I continued watching Anime, except it was Blue Exorcist one of my GFs favorite anime’s which I neglected to watch with her before.
My mind was wired and I was continuing my trip going into the 12th hour and I decided I’ve been overwhelmed with spiritual enlightenment and visual stimulus. I roamed around the house for a few moments before taking some Melatonin 40mg (placebo?) and then going to sleep. I woke up four hours later with her both of us sober. We continued to care for our pets which were regretfully neglected from our troubled use of drugs in which we didn’t focus on them. By buying them food and giving them care in the evening. We continued to binge her favorite anime, cuddle, then she fell asleep at 11:00. I’ve wrote this about two hours later.
This trip to me was about spiritual discovery and trust between your partner.
As well as it was the focus on my inner self of my troubles which is ADHD.
During my trip my unmedicated ADHD caused a lot of confusion and racing thoughts which wasn’t foreign to either of us. It caused conflict but nothing more than what we expected. We both agreed I need to be medicated as each day after taking Acid I am a completely productive and wired person.
submitted by tway0297473882 to 1P_LSD [link] [comments]


2020.08.22 02:38 selacius Is this Narcissism at its finest?

I started to date someone early in March, and we connected on a lot of levels. We seemed to have a lot in common and shared past experiences. She confided in me that she experienced PTSD from her narcissistic ex-boyfriend (also her daughters dad), and was heavily medicated for a period of time after she left. She conveyed to me some of the things that he had done (name calling, withholding gifts, devaluing, cheating), all the while they were together for 4 years. When we started to date, I myself had just left a very emotionally abusive and unstable marriage, and our new relationship was very strong on both sides in regards to appreciation, reassurance, etc. She let me know early on that she wanted to be married, have a house and the type of life she wanted for her and her kids. We were also very physical with each other. Things moved very quickly and we were suddenly engaged (with a temporary ring to start), while waiting for covid restrictions to ease up. As we were advancing our relationship, we started to discuss plana for a house and a life together using my proceeds from the sale of my matrimonial home for a downpayment. When covid eased up and I was able to get a proper engagement ring, I proposed to her. It was at this point that things started to change and our constant time together became her needing more space/independence. We also started to create a budget for our future lives together based on what ahe required/needed from the house (bedrooms for each of her 2 kids, mine would share). When the budget came back and showed that the life we had spoke of was no longer achievable at this moment in time, she started to pull back from me. It was at this point where I started to feel anxious over losing her and started to grasp and apparently overstepped boundaries and became possessive and controlling (wanting to spend time with her as much as possible, like we started out with). As we were breaking up, I was continuously trying to fight for her, which she claimed was me being overbearing. She would constantly tell.me that she no longer saw a future with me, and wasnt interested, all the while leaving me on her social media accounts (and keeping the photos of us together posted for all to see). I went through no contact with her and tried to be sweet by dropping off a frappe from Starbucks before her work shift. She has since told a mutual friend that I am a narcissistic sociopath. I started to clue into things and posted a story on instagram about female covert malignant narcissists, and as soon as she saw it (I was able to see she had looked at it), she blocked me from instagram. Facebook was soon to follow the next day. I would also like to note, during our relationship we purchased a trailer together, which she is still in possession of, along with my tools I used to renovate it. Its been 6 weeks since we broke up, and she was supposed to have sold ot to neighbors at the beginning of August.
I should also point out...that her ex (the one she claims is a narcissist), has been with the same girl since 2018, and married since 2019.
Is it entirely possible that my ex is actually the narcissist, who was using a pity story to suit her needs (make me fall for her), and all that she claims he did, she was actually responsible for? And I got discarded because I wasnt able to provide the exact life she had felt entitled to?
submitted by selacius to NarcissisticAbuse [link] [comments]


2020.08.16 07:09 phulandevi I met a guy and liked him but not sure of his feelings. Should I try talking to him and try meeting up?

Hi All, So I met this guy through online matrimony portal once. I was busy at work and all of a sudden he asked me if i we could meet. I usually don't meet guys at first instance but somehow I said yes to him. The moment I saw i him i felt this connection which I dont usually feel with anyone else. We spoke for a bit as both of us were nervous and wasn't able to have this eye to eye contact. The AC at the cafe wasn't working so we didnt sit for long. The worse part was i didnt ask his name which I felt bad and later I did through text. I feel like I have put up a bad impression. When I asked him to meet, he did say yes but neither me nor him planned any future date or time. I was hoping he would or should message but now I'm like if I like someone than why should i wait for the other person, I can myself message and get to know his opinion about me atleast I can free myself from this paranoid state if he like me or not. Kindly advice.
submitted by phulandevi to relationship_advice [link] [comments]


2020.08.08 07:39 snickeringhaystack I Posted A True Stalker Story Online. My stalker read it...

This is an update to a story I posted on a forum like this about 4 years ago. In fact, what happened was a direct result of me posting it. I’ve since taken it down, but I need to share what happened to me. God…
Don’t worry about that first story; you’ll find that out as I tell this one.
Let’s get started.
So, a little about myself: I’m 41 years old and currently working as a salesman at a retail outlet that specializes in men’s business suits. The job makes pretty good money but with alimony to my ex-wife and child support on top of that, I seem to just barely get by. I had just finished going through the horror of divorce 6 months before this last incident happened. I had started drinking again. Drinking, and looking longingly at sleeping pill bottles and razor blades. I know what you’re thinking but I’ve always been too much of a coward for that sort of thing. Though I will admit it’s always seemed tempting, especially after losing everything like I did.
Anyway, as you can imagine, I was feeling pretty low for a few weeks, so I was quite pleasantly surprised when this elegant, beautiful woman, about my age, came into the store and began to show me some interest.
She was tall and slim, wearing a charcoal jacket and skirt combo, her hair discretely dyed bronze amber, and had a very unassuming smile, not too blemished by laugh lines or crow’s feet. I admit I’d noticed her before she approached me; I spotted her the moment she entered through the door. She seemed kind of familiar, but I wasn’t going to tell her that. That’s got be the most obvious non-pickup pickup line in the world, telling a strange woman she looks familiar.
Anyway, she walked up to me with this coy smile, just showing a glimpse of perfect white teeth and said, “You probably think I’m in the wrong store.”
I gave a little giggle, cleared my throat and said, “I’m sorry?”
“This is a men’s clothing store, obviously,” she elaborated. Her eyes were deep brown – almost black – and they were lively and active, looking up into mine.
“Well ma’am,” I said. “We do have some pant suits and some jackets for ladies if you’d like me to show you.”
“Ma’am?” she remarked playfully. “Do I really look that old to you?”
I chuckled nervously, breaking eye contact with her and clearing my throat again. God, I must have seemed like a schoolboy for Christ’s sake! I then told her not at all, that she didn’t look old but that I just wanted to be respectful. Her smile widened, her long purple fingernails fidgeting with her purse strap.
“Well,” she said in a soft, heavy voice. “I’m actually here to find a suit for my son. He wants a tuxedo for prom.”
I furrowed my brow. This was the dead of winter. Proms aren’t usually held until June or late May at the earliest.
“I know,” she said, reading my look. “His school is impossible; they want to hold it early so that the students don’t get too distracted from their studies. My son’s also too busy playing his computer games to go get a suit himself and too embarrassed to come with me so, here I am.”
I couldn’t help but grin eagerly. Just my luck, I thought.
I showed her some of our more popular items. She told me her son’s size and together we found something she thought he’d like. The whole time she sided close to me and I could smell her floral perfume. It was soothing and, I’ll admit, I didn’t make any attempt to distance myself from her.
As I was ringing her up at the cash till, I told her that if anything didn’t quite fit, she could bring it back in and we’d happily have it adjusted to fit her son’s measurements. She gave a low, almost inaudible laugh and told me that I probably didn’t have to worry about that.
There were no other customers in the store then and the other cashier was on break, so we continued to chat. She asked me what I did in my spare time for fun and I hesitated, thinking of the rows of empty liquor bottles in my apartment and the sleeping pills next to the bathtub. Instead of answering her I jumped at the opportunity and asked her if she’d like to get a drink later that evening. She said nothing but tilted her head and scanned me with her sexy, roaming eyes.
“When do you get off work?” she muttered softly.
“At seven,” the words leapt from my mouth. “If that’s not too late for you.”
“No,” she said, her pearly grin flashing at me over supple red lips. “That’s perfect. I know a bar around this area. I’ll be out front to pick you up.”
“Great,” I said. “What’s your name again?”
“Andrea.”
“Andrea,” I repeated, extending my hand. “I’m Andy, nice to meet you.”
“Naturally.”
That seemed to put my nagging feeling of Déjà vu to rest; I had never known an Andrea – or met any Andreas for that matter. But the name was fitting, and I rolled each syllable over and over across my tongue, waiting for the hours of my shift and wilt away.
By 6:30 we were locking up. Jane, the girl working there, was balancing the cash register while I wrote the day’s records in the books. As I wrote down the total debits and credits I could barely hold onto the pencil, I was so jittery. I know how pathetic this must sound but it had been a while since I had been with a woman in any way and, being older and just divorced, it was hard to build up the confidence to start dating again.
By 7:00 it was dark out. Jane walked out and waved goodbye as I locked up the front door. At the curb in front of the sidewalk was a small blue station wagon, not very fancy but I wasn’t going to complain. I looked through the passenger side window and saw Andrea peering out at me, her hooded eyes meeting mine, that slight smile drawn across her face.
I got in and immediately noticed how cold it was. There didn’t seem to be any heating at all, and the radio wasn’t even on. Strange, I thought. But maybe she lives close by.
As she navigated out of the plaza and onto the road, I prattled on about the suit I had sold her and how most customers said they were really happy with it. She didn’t respond and wasn’t smiling anymore. I didn’t think too deep into it though. After all, she was driving. It’s important to keep concentration. The only thing that struck me as odd was that she had placed her purse on her lap while she was driving.
Since I had had to sell my car after the divorce, I was very pleased to not have to ride the subway or bus, so I just eased back in my seat and enjoyed. I think that’s the reason that I didn’t notice that we had been on the road a long time despite her telling me this bar was close by.
I knew something was up after she’d got onto a highway interchange.
I looked at her very confused. “Did you say this bar was out of town?” I asked.
She didn’t reply. Her eyes were glued to the road as we cruised up the ramp and onto the interstate. By now I was really getting nervous. I noticed she took her left hand from the steering wheel and began reaching inside her purse.
“You really don’t remember me?” she said, her voice just louder than the car engine.
I giggled a bit, but I didn’t find this funny at all.
“I-I don’t know,” I stammered, looking at her. “You do look familiar but – I know I’ve never met an Andrea before.”
I looked down at her lap – into her now opened purse – and felt my heart freeze in my chest: inside, the taped handle held in her delicate fingers, was a snub-nosed revolver. I squirmed in my seat, as if I was going to fly out from the window, the seatbelt digging into my neck.
“What…what the hell are you doing?” I shouted between panted breaths. The gun was now out and pointed at me.
“You probably don’t know any Andrea,” she said coldly, her voice empty – vacant. “But you might remember Alicia. Alicia Moretto.”
Probably from the panic I felt staring down the barrel of that gun, the name didn’t ring any bells. She then looked at me, those bedroom eyes now burning like hot coals.
she told me to open the glove box.
“Open the glove box,” she muttered in a staid voice.
“What?” I asked.
“Open the glove box!” she screamed. I shuttered from the sharp change in her voice.
I did as I was told. Gingerly, I stretched my shaking hand and pushed the lock button. The compartment door fell open and out spilled what had to be hundreds of pages of paper. They were all lying at my feet.
She peered down in a quick glance and instructed me to read the stapled pages printed on red paper. I picked them up and immediately recognized what it was: my post of my stalker story to an Internet forum for true horror stories. I then figured out who she was: Alicia Moretto, the mentally disturbed girl who had stalked me at my workplace and at my home years ago when I was in my late teens.
I pleaded with her and she just hollered at me to read it, her eyes back on the road but the revolver still trained on me. I did as she said. It was all there, my words: how she had come into the coffee shop where I worked, how her hair was constantly tangled and greasy, how her clothes were always in tatters, how she always smelled of BO and Vaseline. It was all there; how she had come in every morning, how she knew my schedule and when my shift was. How my coworkers had told me that she would sometimes come in on my days off and ask where I was. How one night I had found her waiting for me in my house.
I tried to swallow but I couldn’t. I was trembling and the printed-out pages fell from my weak hands involuntarily. She peered over at me – I could see her from the corner of my eyes – and told me to pick up the next set of papers – the one printed on grey pages. I begged her again to just let me go and she screamed for me to read it.
I picked them up, not recognizing any of the writing on it. Then I realized that these were comments people had written on my post of the story. Comments like, What a crazy bitch or I would have been so freaked by that cow or I’d have still hit it lol. Tears had started streaming down my face by the time I’d realized what this was. She had found my story, recognized it, and had come for me.
“Please,” I said to her, choked up having read all the comments and realized her purpose. “I didn’t know it would upset you this much. I – I never used your real name.”
“Do you think that matters?” her voice cracked. It was like an animal’s growl, all the prior sophistication and sensuality gone. “I knew. I knew that story was about me – about a time in my life I was ashamed of…” She trailed off. It sounded as though she had begun to sob. I looked at her and her mouth was hung open, as if in a silent scream, her eyes squinting closed. Yes, she too was crying.
After a terrifying moment she gave a cough, tossed back her hair and was once again icily composed. I looked close and could just see smudges of mascara under her eyes. She then told me to reach inside her purse. I of course wasn’t about to do that.
“I won’t shoot you if you do exactly as I say,” she then said in a calm but uneven voice. The voice smacked of the psychotic desperation of the girl who had stalked me those many years ago.
I nodded my head slightly then quickly turned to glance out the window. It was now very dark and there were few other cars on the road.
Careful not to brush up against the gun, I reached over and put my hand in her purse. Inside I found what felt like a set of Polaroids. My skin waxed cold, imagining that these were probably photos of me she had taken without my knowledge.
I pulled them out and looked at them. They weren’t pictures of me at all. The first photograph was of a couple standing outside a wedding chapel, the woman smiling radiantly in a white lace gown, the handsome mustachioed man next to her wearing a black tuxedo and cummerbund. They were close and holding each other’s hands. I flipped through to the next photo to see the same couple kissing with their eyes closed, a sun setting above a glimmering ocean behind them. I flipped through and in the next photograph I saw the woman lying in a hospital bed, covered by dark green surgical sheets holding a newborn baby. The child was wrapped in a blanket, the husband standing beside them, smiling. I flipped through and saw a photo of the couple with two pre-teen children, sitting on a beach wearing jean shorts and bright colored shirts, smiling up into the camera’s POV. I then realized these photos were of her, the woman named Alicia. She had a family. Or had had a family. But…what did this have to do with my story?
“I…I don’t understand,” I mumbled. She shot me a look out the corner of her eye and didn’t say anything. I looked out the window and saw there were no lights on the side of the road. Past the barrier there was nothing but tall trees and bleak wilderness. We were now far, far from any major city or town. I thought about reaching in my coat for my phone but knew that if I did, she might have shot me. Then I started wondering why she didn’t just kill me already if that was what she intended to do.
The minutes felt like hours in that car. The darkness beyond the roadside seemed to stretch for an eternity like I had woken up in hell. Finally, after God knows how long, she spoke.
“It took me ten years,” she said, her voice straining, quavering like that demented girl I remembered. “It took me three years to get over you. And another seven to forgive myself. I went to counseling, therapy. Eventually I agreed to take the medication. You see – I suffer from paranoid schizophrenia. It sort of runs in my family but it didn’t appear in me until about five months before I met you. My parents had gotten a divorce. Doctor Walton told me that’s what likely triggered my breakdown. Then, when I saw you, it was like you were there for me. My psychiatrist says I was using you as a misplaced source of love – love and security, which I felt had been torn away from me by my parent’s divorce. You were always there and always so polite, so I mistook your politeness and charm for love and affection.”
At that moment, I don’t know why but I didn’t feel scared anymore. I just felt gloomy, depressed. We often call people crazy but when we actually hear the medical terms it becomes a lot less distant.
She continued, “So for ten years after you, I avoided people. I didn’t see friends. I barely spoke to my parents and I absolutely never went out on dates. First, because I was still in love with you. And then because I was so ashamed. Ashamed and afraid I would become that super attached psychopath that I had been with you. I wanted so many times to contact you and to apologize but my counselor and Doctor Walton were adamant that that would be a bad idea. They said it would cause me to relapse.
“So, for ten years I was alone, hating myself. Then I met David. David was a graduate student in university studying Physical Geography. He had approached me first. We met at a bar, or restaurant actually. My parents had insisted on taking me out for my birthday and he’d asked the waiter to put our bill on his tab.” She then gave a sorrowful laugh, a tear falling down her cheek. “He barely had enough money to pay for his beer and he wanted to pay for a whole family’s meal just to speak with me.
“We started out just as friends and then with his insistence we became more than that. I loved him and felt so much better. I finally felt well enough to go back to school and complete my degree. We got married shortly after he graduated. He’d been hired on at a consulting firm, so we were mostly stable. I finally forgave myself and forgot all about you. But I never told him. Never.
“A year into our marriage we had Aaron and two years later Cassandra. We were both so happy. I was happy. I got a job as a typist at a Law Firm. It wasn’t much but it gave me something to do after the children were old enough to go to school. I liked working there; everyone was so friendly and helpful.
“One day, Mark, one of the support staff members in Facilities was showing me this website he often goes to, mostly to look up funny pictures. He told me about this page that has scary stories and creepy encounters and I immediately recognized what most of the stories were about. I searched all the posts and it didn’t take me long to find one that was familiar. Too familiar. I knew that it was you who posted it.”
She then stopped and let out a heavy sigh, her moist eyes rolling up and looking long at the car roof. It was as though she could not believe she was telling me this. Her voice had stopped sounding like a nervous psychotic and more like that of a sobbing, distraught woman. The gloom lingered thick inside the car – over both of us.
“After that my paranoia and anxiety spiked,” she continued. “I tried to fight it by upping the dose of my medication but that didn’t work. Pretty soon I just stopped since they only seemed to make me drowsy.” She then gave another humorless little laugh as though she’d caught herself in a lie. “You know, I thought it was because David had seen the post that he left me and why I couldn’t get even joint custody of the children but that’s not true. The truth is, seeing your post made me act erratic. I started throwing fits, fighting with him for no reason, shouting at the children and beating them over things that weren’t their fault. I had stopped sleeping at night, believing the next-door neighbors were spying on us and plotting to come in and steal everything. It was because of me that David left me, and I acted that way because of your post.”
I was now staring out the window. I could just make out open fields in the distance with the slightest smattering of brush. Where the hell was she taking me?
“I couldn’t forgive myself,” she said. “I know now that I never will.”
I gulped and asked, “How did you find me?”
She smiled maliciously in my direction, amused by my discomfort. “One of the criminal lawyers at my firm, Mike Corson, has a team of Private Investigators. I do paperwork for him, so I forged a memo asking one of the PI’s to find your whereabouts. It didn’t take long; I knew your full name, where you had once worked and where you grew up. I was of course surprised you still lived there after all these years.” Her smile was now spiteful and mocking. That and her last comment made me look away, slightly incensed. “Of course, when Mike found out about it I was fired. Misappropriate of the firm’s resources. It didn’t help I was already on thin ice – for obvious reasons.”
The road we had driven on had disintegrated into a rough, jagged path of scrappy concrete. It was as though we had gone back in time to when there was nothing but dirt and jungle. I actually started worrying that if we drove any longer that that road would stop, or we’d be stranded in desert.
I looked at the clock on the dash and the green numbers revealed 12:03. We had been driving for hours. Another hour passed with nothing. Just silence.
I started absorbing what she’d told me and felt this weight form in the pit of my stomach. I had caused this. I had ruined her life. And for what? A little bit of attention on an online forum? Jesus, the episode hadn’t been that much of my life and, for God sake, she was schizophrenic. The whole damn thing now seemed sleazy and – and I no longer felt scared. I wasn’t frightened at all. I just wanted this to end.
By 1:15 she slowed down the car. We pulled over, parking on a gravel shoulder by a vast, empty field, the car pointed away and perpendicular to the road.
When she switched off her headlights it went all black beyond the windshield. My eyes adjusted and I could just make out the black shape of the field beneath the lighter shade of the starless night sky. We both sat there, not looking at each other, like we had just fucked for money. She didn’t move, didn’t stir. The revolver still trained on me.
“I’m sorry,” I said. My voice was contrite and damp. “I know that what I did was wrong. When I met you, it was at a moment when you were most vulnerable and it was wrong for me to take advantage, even years later.”
She didn’t look at me, didn’t move. But I knew she heard me.
“Go ahead,” I then said to her. “Kill me. I deserve to be hurt. I deserve to die. I – I don’t want to live anymore.”
Just then, she straitened in her seat, still staring out into the field before us.
“No,” she said, huskily. “You deserve to feel what I feel every day.”
I then heard the hammer click backward and watched as she opened her perfect mouth and stuck the barrel into it.
I shouted and lunged toward her but--
BANG!
There was a flash and I saw spots. My ears were ringing and blocked like I was under water. After about a minute my eyes adjusted. Then I started, stupidly surprised, by the sight of the woman’s mutilated face resting next to me in the car. The interior was splattered with blood.
My hand groped endlessly for the door handle, finally finding it, and I fell out onto the pebbled ground from the passenger side. I got on my hands and knees and puked my guts out. After I stood up, I doubled over and dry heaved for several minutes.
From there I walked the shoulder, not thumbing, not trying to get home, just trying to get as far away from Andrea – Alicia as I could.
Eventually, by daybreak, someone driving a rusted pickup pulled over and asked me if I needed a lift. Still shaken and exhausted I approached his passenger-side window. Once I was a foot away from his truck, I saw his face drain pale, his pupils shrink in the sockets and in one hyper-movement, he grabbed the gearstick, put it into drive and sped off.
I stared at the fleeing vehicle confused, then looked down at my clothes. I was, of course, covered with blood. I took off my jacket and shirt, wiped my face with them, then tossed them, continuing the rest of the way in just my undershirt and slacks. About two hours later, someone picked me up and drove me as far as the next major city. From there I took a bus home and called in sick to work.
UPDATE
About a week after the incident, two detectives came to see me at my home. They asked me about my relationship to the deceased, Alicia Moretto-Lippmann, and I told them the whole story. They informed me that they had found Google map printouts of my address and a P.I. file of my name at the scene.
They tried to get me to go downtown with them, but I refused and called a lawyer. My new lawyer, Mister Michael Corson, who agreed to represent me Pro Bono, told me there’s no chance of a charge of murder being brought against me. The evidence of possible foul play is pretty thin; my story, although incredible, makes enough sense; and the police are happy to write off her death as a suicide rather than spend endless man-hours and OT investigating a homicide.
Corson recommended me to a better matrimonial lawyer, and I got my alimony reduced and received more time to see my kids. I also entered AA where I have started to get over my self-destructive thoughts and behavior.
Don’t get me wrong. I feel horrible about what happened to Alicia. And her last words do stick with me. But, I mean, how far does guilt get you?
submitted by snickeringhaystack to clancypasta [link] [comments]


2020.08.05 13:43 someindianduude Looking for a groom for my 50 year old mother. Need suggestions on platforms, insights.

Not sure if this is the right forum but I am looking for platforms to search for a suitable partner for my mother. I am a 26 year well settled guy, solely raised by my mother. She's a headstrong woman who has always supported me throughout my life and I want to return the favor. We all need a partner in the end, don't we? We've tried a couple of dating sites, could only find perverted uncles there. Not sure about matrimonial sites for this age segment. Can someone share their good/bad experience they had or their relative had? I recently talked to Aastha, 'Woman's Viral Tweet About Looking for a 'Handsome 50-Year-Old Man' for Her Mother Wins Hearts Online
They found a load of creeps and haven't had any luck yet. The story got a lot of following but the agenda couldn't be accomplished(was posted in Nov' 19). Any insights would be helpful :)
submitted by someindianduude to india [link] [comments]


2020.08.05 10:14 Taslima0321 Top 5 International Muslim Marriage Sites With Guaranteed Service

Are you about to get married soon? In that case, you are undoubtedly searching for a suitable groom or bride right now. Getting married at the right moment to the right person at the right age is very important. So, you can’t be careless about choosing the person with whom you will tie the knot. Also, marriage is irreversible, and you can’t just make a thoughtless approach towards marriage to repent for the rest of your life. Therefore, searching for a soulmate over the marriage sites is very important.
There was a time when the parents use to find suitable life partners for their children through friends or relatives. But now online matchmaking sites have taken over them as they provide not only a variety of brides and grooms but also numerous options like age, height, caste, location, income, profession, education, and so on. The online matrimonial sites are becoming very popular as they have made the “searching” term easier and quicker. Online marriage sites are highly affordable and safe. Additionally, you can take expert advice by counseling with the marriage experts if you need them.
To help you find your perfect groom or bride, we have listed the most successful and reliable five international Muslim marriage sites in this article. These marriage sites specialize in Muslim matchmaking and not just a matrimonial service but understand the importance of choosing the perfect life partner for marriage.

What are the Best International Marriage Sites for Muslims?

For modern Muslim men and women, the internet has provided a unique way to incorporate traditional Islamic beliefs into contemporary forms of socializing through online matrimony sites. All the sites listed here focus especially on finding a Muslim match. They have a vast database which suits your preferences and assist you in choosing your soul mate. These marriage sites are great because you know that both singles and divorcees are looking for a serious Muslim match. Let’s dive into the deep!

Muslima

Muslima is one of the leading and reliable marriage sites to find a Muslim life partner. If you are looking for the best marriage site for a Muslim bride or groom, Muslima can be ideal for trying out. This online matrimony site has helped thousands of Muslim singles find their perfect soul mate. Unlike the other marriage sites, Muslima can offer you a membership database of 7.5 million (to date) members with the guarantee of introducing you to single and divorcee Muslim women as well as men across the globe. The reason behind the immense popularity of Muslima is the numerous success stories. According to the website, it has over 750 success stories to date.
Their website is comparatively simple in its design and functionality. That means it is effortless to learn how to navigate the website and use all of its features. The marriage site offers necessary facilities for the non-paid members and innumerable advantages for the paid users. Having a free membership, you can contact and receive messages from paying members, and you can tailor which email notification you receive from the site. For instance, you will get an email notification if someone expresses interest for you. Undoubtedly, Muslima is the largest site that specializes in international Muslim matrimonial. You must give it a try!

Pure Matrimony

Pure Matrimony is another popular Muslim marriage site that aims to offer a Halal online matrimonial platform for the pious Muslims who are about to begin a marital life holding the faith and the Islamic tradition. The site aims to provide matrimonial services worldwide and show that Muslims are not divided by caste, color, and nations. Like Muslima, Pure Matrimony is also an excellent platform for the singles looking for marriage and long-term relationships to connect and meet. The features of their website are not too complicated, and the surprising fact is that it comes with 12 different languages to browse with. That means a man with the lest technical knowledge can use the website, too.
The marriage site promises 100% privacy to the users. With the free membership, a user can access his/her photo, get sophisticated pure matching, advanced advance search options, create and favorite searches, and view others’ profiles. If you have a premium membership, then you can message of contact profiles, answer to the member’s questions, request & see personal photos, receive answers, and the other members can stalk you. Registering for the website is the most straightforward task one can do. The online matrimony site has an app available for both android and ios. So, you can use the site anytime, from anywhere.

Taslima Marriage Media

Taslima Marriage Media is one of the most successful marriage sites since 2011. Currently, the online matrimony agency is providing matchmaking services worldwide. Thousands of happy marriages happened and continue to occur through the agency. The online matrimonial site has been continuously innovating to provide a superior matchmaking experience to the registered members.
Taslima Marriage Media has created a global matrimonial web portal aimed at fulfilling the needs of Muslims worldwide. Their online portal is designed for those who are serious about marriage and looking for suitable grooms or brides. Their highly dedicated team is committed to providing all Matrimony related solutions to prospective brides and grooms.
In the online matchmaking site, you can create your profile for free. The portal allows the members to search, communicate, interact, and and eventually choose the proper person. By preventing free searches by non-registered members, they are further securing our members’ privacy and ensuring that only people interested in marriage contact the members.
Regarding the billing, Users can purchase the Basic package at $40, browse the portal for 45 Days and see the contact details of other users. Also they can send 50 total proposals whom they like. The standard package comes at $65. The users can browse the portal for 90 Days, see the contact details of other users, and send 70 total proposals.
The classic package starts at $100. Users can browse the portal for 180 Days, see the contact details of other users. Also, they can send 90 total proposals. A premium package can be purchased at $135. The users can browse the portal for one year and see the contact details of other users. They can send 110 total proposals whom they like.

Nikah.com

Founded in 1998, Nikah.com provides matrimonial and online dating services explicitly tailored to Muslims’ particular needs worldwide. The marriage site has attracted more than 2 Million users worldwide since after the foundation. We consider Nikah.com as the pioneer of exclusive Muslim matrimony service. Although the Islamic matrimonial website attracts Muslim singles globally, Nikah.com emphasizes that it is not for those who are seeking an un-Islamic relationship. The marriage website offers the users an in-depth compatibility test and a unique categorized matching system. You can create a profile completely free of charge to see what Nikah.com has for you.
The site is very popular with Muslim men and women who are in their mid-twenties and above. People looking for a second chance at love can also find exciting singles or someone like themselves. As we have gone through the user’s review on the site, Nikah.com is excellent from the time of initial contact to the ceremony. And they have very informative, professional and pleasant representatives.

IslamicMarriage

Like the other online matrimonial sites, IslamicMarriage aims to bring single Muslim men and women together for friendship and potentially marriage. Their online matchmaking portal is definitely up to today’s standards with plenty of filtering tools that everyone will like. The user interface is clean and efficient to navigate without complicated features. On the portal, users can match with people from other places if they prefer to while giving them the compatibility to look for other singles or divorcees who live nearby. Most of the members at IslamicMarriage are from the United States. Other places with a significant membership include the United Kingdom, Germany, Bangladesh, Mauritius, Egypt, France, Saudi Arabia, Algeria, Nigeria, Canada, and others.
The marriage site offers different language choices to browse. It provides complete security to the users as it employs several security features to filter out bots and other unwanted users from penetrating their system. Signing up to IslamicMarriage is entirely free, and registration can be done within minutes. The online matchmaking site does not require email verification to activate your profile. IslamicMarriage offers non-paid users the ability to view other members’ profiles, browse photos, upload 20 pictures to your profile, chat & receive messages, and use their dedicated live chat support function.
It comes with three premium membership plans for the users. Prices of these packages start from $22 and end at $32.99 per month. You can upgrade or cancel your subscription anytime.
If you are looking for an online matrimonial site that can lead you to serious relationships and eventually marriage, IslamicMarriage will be the best choice.

In Closing

We strongly advise you to check the terms, features, and pricing before enrolling in any online matchmaking portal. However, browsing a little time over these online matrimony sites once after registering, these trustworthy sites will make you realize that your perfect life partner is just a click away! If you are thinking about joining any of these sites, but you still aren’t sure, we are here to help. Our online matrimonial portal has a lot to offer if you are serious about a lifetime relationship. Ready to start meeting people who dream the same things you do? Visit our full site to begin your journey now!
submitted by Taslima0321 to u/Taslima0321 [link] [comments]


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